


Na Jaemin Was His Name

by forthenomin



Series: Your Name [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Awkward Crush, Drama, Drama & Romance, Family Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:56:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forthenomin/pseuds/forthenomin
Summary: Driven by his parents' constant fight at home and his academic performance going downhill, Lee Jeno snapped at Na Jaemin, the boy who's been crushing on him for a year, telling the latter to give up in front of everyone, humiliating Jaemin in the process.





	Na Jaemin Was His Name

**Author's Note:**

> This is the edited version of my first Nomin tweetfic. Follow me on Twitter, @forthenomin. Enjoy!

**Na Jaemin Was His Name**

Lee Jeno, as everyone knows, is the embodiment and the epitome of perfection. He has the looks, the money, the intellect. In addition to that, he has a picture perfect family.

Everything's good, right?

Wrong. Jeno's family's been drifting apart for almost more than half a year now. His parents, Lee Taeyong and Jung Jaehyun, are on the verge of divorce due to constant fight over every single thing they could fight about. His brother, Mark Lee, isn't doing any better either. He's been pretty much affected by their parents' situation, causing him to act up.

It's also taking a toll on Jeno, although he acts like it doesn't affect him in the slightest. It's his family after all. As the days progress, Jeno finds himself coming home late but never due to schoolwork. Coming home for him became one of the dreadful things, so he'd always hang a bit at the student center on the first floor of his school building to kill some time.

Lee Jeno's family was perfect. He had two loving and financially stable parents whom he loved so much. He had an older brother that guided and protected him. He was nurtured and raised with love, faith, and respect. And then it all started going downhill when his parents started being more focused in their respective careers, Taeyong becoming busier with medical missions while Jaehyun getting promoted as a national sales director. Add to that the sudden appearance of an ex Jaehyun hadn't had a closure with.

The husbands rarely ever comes home anymore, and when they do, they usually find something to argue over, like fighting in order to feel something. Then they stopped coming home altogether.

Jeno's older brother, Mark Lee, started his teenage rebellion as an act of protest to both of his parents. The latter would party nonstop, drinking and getting wasted until he can no longer make out of everyone's face and think of his problems. Mark even went as far as sleeping around and doing drugs, which, to this day, is fucking him up.

Jeno, who's always been withdrawn, is now distant more than ever. He stopped talking to anyone, started sleeping in class and getting physically disciplined, and became more aggressive than passive.

He began flunking at school without anyone knowing the reason why. His friends weren't able to notice that there is something wrong that's been going on for so long, and Jeno feels so out of touch from reality, like everything is a product of a nightmare he's been wanting to wake up from.

And there comes Na Jaemin, the boy who's been chasing after him for almost a year now. At first, Jeno really didn't care about the boy's existence. Na Jaemin was just... Na Jaemin. No one important. A nobody to Lee Jeno. But one thing that made Jeno acknowledge him was the boy was able to see through him, that he's been hurting, that he's been feeling nothing at all. And so, Na Jaemin tried his best to make Lee Jeno feel something. Eventually, Jeno did.

Na Jaemin, as what Jeno can make out of him, is a pure-hearted person with the brightest smile. He is innocent, honest, and gullible, faultless even if you may. Jaemin is so... innocent, possibly the purest soul Jeno has ever encountered in his entire life. And that pissed Jeno off. It pissed him off how Jaemin could be so carefree and happy, how Jaemin could be so full of life like everything in his life is going how it's supposed to. But what pissed him off to no end was how Jaemin could do weird things to Jeno's heart. From what he knows, Jaemin has been crushing on him for six months, maybe even longer than that. But all he knows is that, four months into wallowing on his own misery, Jaemin finally made a move on him.

"Uhm! Lee Jeno, this is for you!" Jaemin had said that time, his head lowered and eyes closed in order to hide his embarrassment.

Jeno was making his way to the table where his friends were seated, having their meal. Everyone in the cafeteria was surprised, even Jeno's friends. They were all expecting Jeno to turn down the offer, just like what he did to every other person who had tried to give him something. To everyone's shock, however, Jeno accepted the lunch box wordlessly and then sat with his friends before eating its content.

Wide-eyed, Jaemin just stared at Jeno, unable to process what was happening. And once he did, he broke out into a full-on smile, feeling so accomplished. He looked at his friends table who were giving him thumbs up and wide smiles before looking back at Jeno.

Jeno then glanced at Jaemin, who was squealing with his friends in their table, before continuing his meal. Noticing the silence, he looked up and found that his friends were gaping at his antics.

"What was that?" Kim Woojin, one of his longtime friends, asked, but Jeno had kept mum and continued eating as if he heard nothing.

He'd noticed Jaemin before. The boy is from class 12-B, just beside class 12-A in which Jeno is from. He would always notice the boy glancing at him with rosy cheeks outside his room. Often times, he would catch the boy stalking him inside the library when he's reading. Jaemin probably thought he was slicked, but Jeno couldn't help but smirk at the former for being too obvious. Every time Jeno would walk past Jaemin and his friends, he would hear them gushing and squealing like school girls.

Initially, Jeno had paid no mind to it. And when he started getting affected by his parents' constant quarrel, Jaemin's longing gaze and sympathetic eyes pierced right through his heart, causing him to think that maybe he needed someone he could play with for a while.

After that scene in the cafeteria, Jeno noticed that Jaemin had become braver, often greeting him when they'd bump into each other, giving him meals in a plastic container during lunch, offering to give him a hand when he needed it. Along with this, Jeno's parents' fight became more intense. What used to be shouting over one another became loud screams and breakage of the entire glassware in the kitchen upon Taeyong having an inkling feeling about Jaehyun's infidelity, resulting for the latter to come up with divorce. Hurt and betrayed by his own father, Jeno left his _home_ and slammed the door so hard it shook the walls, snapping both of his parents in their own world.

He’d sprinted and sprinted aimlessly under the pouring rain in the night of Seoul, until he was catching his breath. He’d found himself slumping at an empty bus stop, his tears washed out by the droplets of rain streaming down his face, helpless, confused, and deeply hurt. He’d stared at nothing in particular, trying to process that his family might actually break apart.

"Lee Jeno?"

It was Na Jaemin standing in the rain with an umbrella over his head. His face, though, was nothing like he'd ever seen before. There was a look of concern, worry, and distress, and Jeno couldn't help but feel bad because he knew he was the reason for it.

"You're drenched," Jaemin had softly said, "let's get you home before you catch a cold."

"No," Jeno disagreed firmly, taking Jaemin by surprise because that was the first time he’d ever talked to him.

"Huh?"

"I don't wanna go home."

"B-But—" Jaemin stuttered, his eyes full of concern, "y-you're going to c-catch a cold. P-Plus, it's almost night now."

"I don't care." This time Jeno was looking at him now. "I don't wanna go back there."

"M-Maybe we can go to my house?"

Jeno's stare intensified.

"I-I mean, y-you can shower and dry yourself there but only if you want!" Jaemin shouted abashed with reddened cheeks. "Please, don't get the wrong idea!"

"Let's do that."

"Huh?"

In a swift move, Jeno moved to Jaemin until he was under the umbrella the latter was holding. He gazed into his eyes intensely, making the younger uneasy and break his gaze.

Jaemin's hold on the handle of umbrella tightened, gulping in nervousness at his and Jeno's proximity.

The rain poured and poured nonstop.

Jaemin was still uneasy at his and Jeno's closeness, while the latter paid no mind as they share an umbrella under the cold weather of Seoul. He still couldn't believe that they were actually sharing an umbrella, and they were going to his house at that.

By the time they’d reached the Na residence, the two took off their shoes before placing them on the rack. The house was pitch black, and Jeno was bewildered by that for a moment.

"U-Um, I forgot to tell you," Jaemin had muttered barely audible, rubbing the side of his neck, "m-my parents aren't home and they won't be until tomorrow night. So, it's just me here. Sorry for not telling you earlier."

"It's alright," Jeno said, scanning the spacious house filled with seemingly high-end furniture, "you're an only child?"

"Yeah," Jaemin replied, embarrassed for no particular reason. "Um, stay here. I'll get you a towel and extra clothes so you can dry yourself."

When he didn't receive a response from Jeno, Jaemin hastily grabbed the cleanest and whitest towel from his bathroom and two of his favorite pair of pajamas in the closet. He didn't want to miss the chance of seeing Lee Jeno in his favorite pair, let alone matching outfit with his crush.

When Jaemin came back, Jeno was still rooted from his tracks. This time, however, the latter was staring at the family picture sitting on a wooden table across him. Jeno was frowning intensely, which didn't make any sense for Jaemin, throwing daggers at the happy and radiant smile the Na family was exporting.

"Lee Jeno?"

"What?" Jeno had snapped.

"Please, take a shower first and dry yourself. You might catch a cold if you stay like that," Jaemin said delicately.

When Jeno turned to look at and examined Jaemin, he noticed that the boy was standing awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable with his burning gaze as the seconds ticked loudly, echoing through the walls of the house. He also noticed that the boy was drenched, not so much as he was but still drenched, nevertheless. There were few droplets of rain water cascading from the tip of his hair down to the floor, and the sleeves of his white polo and the end of trousers were wet, but Jaemin still gave priority to him. For a moment, Jeno was conflicted what to feel.

"Go first."

"No!" Jaemin exclaimed, backing down once he realized how loud he must've come. "Y-You're a guest here."

Jeno could still remember that night vividly. He’d decided not to put up a fight anymore and decided to shower first. He figured that if they were to prolong their discussion, the two of them would have ended up being sick. But what he could barely recall was how it happened way too fast than he anticipated, how by the time the two of them were dressed was they found themselves in Jaemin's room, completely feeling nothing but the desire to feel something.

The two of them lie on Jaemin's queen-sized bed, both on each end. Then Jeno shuffled, inching closer to Jaemin's figure until his chest was pressed on the latter's back.

"You like me, right?" Jeno had whispered huskily to Jaemin's ear that time, making the younger shiver, feeling all the hair in his body stood up.

"H-Huh?"

"You'd do whatever I want because you like me," Jeno whispered again that made the younger nod involuntarily as a response, "right?"

Jaemin was tense as he kept still, that Jeno could see although the back of Jaemin's head was the one facing him. He then moved again under their shared blanket, his lower body getting closer to Jaemin. He then aimed his groin at the fabric of the latter's bottom, trying to elicit a reaction from Jaemin.

Jeno felt Jaemin's breath hitch, and he took that as a sign to continue. He started rubbing his boner on the clothed crack of Jaemin's bottom, his cock growing harder and harder with friction. Jaemin's breath ragged, loving the contact through the thin fabric of their underwear and pajamas. He was so overwhelmed, grinding his ass with passion, wanting to feel more of the person he'd been crushing on for months.

Taking it to the next level, Jeno snaked one if his arms around Jaemin's waist, pulling him closer before starting to leave open-mouthed kisses all over the side of the latter's neck, licking him seductively every now and then. It was driving Jaemin nuts, causing for him to be a grunting mess, but what made him moan like he'd never moaned before was when Jeno started sucking onto his sweet spot, nibbling on it until it was bruised. He body was then turned by Jeno, facing the latter.

The two made eye contact for a split second. Jeno's eyes were half-lidded, while Jaemin's were nervous. Jeno leaned in, capturing the younger's plump lips in a hungry manner. He kissed and kissed Jaemin, going as far as biting the latter's younger lip before Jaemin started kissing back. They kissed like their lives depended on it, Jeno dominating Jaemin.

Jeno licked Jaemin's bottom lip aggressively, taking the younger by surprise. When Jaemin parted his lips for an access into his mouth, Jeno pushed his tongue in, savoring Jaemin's taste through his saliva and tongue. Before the younger knew it, Jeno began to leave his mouth and proceeded to trail open-mouth kisses from both cheeks and to his neck before the latter removed both of their tops, positioning himself over Jaemin's figure.

When Jeno saw Jaemin's hard pink buds, he eyes became darker, while the younger turned his head to the side in embarrassment under Jeno's gaze. He then took one of Jaemin's nipple in between his fingers, flicking it to see how sensitive the younger was. Jaemin couldn't help but to cry in frustration, tears forming in his eyes. Jeno played with his nipples for a solid minute before taking them into his mouth one by one, sucking them dry as he stared right into Jaemin's eyes, licking and circling them with the tip of his tongue. Jaemin was so sensitive that by this time, he was already a moaning mess, his body twitching from the overwhelming sensation of pleasure and excitement. Jeno then went back to his neck, ravishing and biting it hard, leaving more bruises.

He was so turned on that his cock was already bulging from his pajama pants. He was crying because of too much pleasure he never thought he'd experience with Lee Jeno.

After a few minutes, Jeno pulled himself back, admiring the masterpiece he'd created on the younger's neck and chest. There were bruises all over Jaemin's body, claiming the latter as his. He noticed Jaemin had tears on his cheeks, and he wiped them off with his thumb, kissing them lightly. He then went back on kissing him, grinding his hard clothed cock on Jaemin's, getting a moan as a response. He did it for a little while, both of them getting lost at the sensation. Jeno then lied on his back, removing his pajama pants, leaving him on with nothing but underwear. His hand found Jaemin's head, urging the younger to go down.

It took Jaemin a few seconds before he finally understood what Lee Jeno wanted, and he couldn't deny that he was afraid. His eyes widened, heart pounding at what was about to go down. He really should've known that it would lead to this. He hesitantly looked at Jeno, biting the inside of his cheek. Gulping, he leisurely went down onto the level of Jeno's raging hard on. It was throbbing through the thin fabric, and he could see how huge it was. Taking a deep breath, Jaemin hooked his hands on the waistband of Jeno's undergarment and started taking it off, Jeno's cock springing to life, bouncing in front of Jaemin's face.

Jaemin inhaled, taking in the musk scent of his crush. He stared at the huge cock in front him only one breath away from his lips. He looked at Jeno for a second, whose half-lidded eyes were staring at him, and then grasped the long, thick cock, pulling on its skin up and down. It was hot and could barely fit in his hands, but he made it work.

"Come on..." Jeno had urged sensually. "Suck it."

Before Jaemin could even respond, Jeno put his hand under the younger's chin, inserting his thumb on Jaemin's mouth, parting it slightly. He then shoved his cock inside Jaemin's mouth that made the latter teary-eyed. When Jaemin had finally processed what was happening, he began to suck on the head going down to its body. Jeno, driven by lust and sexual frustration, put his hands at the back of Jaemin's head, urging him to go further down until the boy reached the end of his cock, choking on it.

With tears in his eyes, Jaemin took out Jeno's cock from his mouth, saliva dripping down his chin, wiping it with the back of his left hand as the other jacked the manhood off, gazing at Jeno.

"You're doing really good, baby," Jeno said. "Your mouth is so hot. I could fuck your mouth all day and never get tired of it."

The younger couldn't even react to that.

Jeno urged Jaemin to suck his raging cock once again by putting at the back of younger's head. This time, however, he was not able to contain his lust and decided to fuck Jaemin's mouth mercilessly.

"Fuck, you're so good at this," Jeno had moaned, his pace becoming even faster, if that was even possible. "You like that, huh?"

Jaemin kept on choking, but he fought the tears and the need to pull his mouth out.

"You've always wanted a taste of my cock, that's why you won't stop following me, right?" Jeno continued mounting Jaemin's mouth, sweat dripping down his temples. "Now, take it like a fucking pro just like that. So good, baby."

Jeno fucked the younger's face for a few more minutes, and then he pulled him upwards, kissing him and savoring his lips. He then put both of his hands on Jaemin's waist, removing the rest of his clothing, persuading him to go further upwards.

"Sit on my face."

It was sudden. Jaemin froze, eyes widening in shock.

"W-What?”

"Sit on my face."

"B-But it's dirty!"

"You've showered, I'm pretty sure you clean yourself up down there as well."

Jaemin nodded wordlessly. He then felt himself being lifted upward until his bottom was facing Jeno's face. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect, but he had trust in Jeno.

"Lower yourself more, I can't reach you."

Jaemin did as he was told, jolting at the sudden contact of a wet, salivated muscle with the opening of his pink, hairless asshole. When he'd regained his composure, he lowered himself once again. Jeno put his hands on his thighs, caging him in place. The older then dove into his ass, licking it and twirling his tongue at the sensitive opening. This time, Jaemin had gone back to crying in pleasure, his hands finding Jeno's head, tugging on the older's hair. He didn't even know the pleasure could heighten until Jeno inserted his tongue inside Jeno's puckered hole. It went on for about several minutes, Jeno savoring the taste of Jaemin's wet, pink hole and Jaemin losing his sanity at the sensation.

Knowing that Jaemin most definitely didn't have any lube, Jeno spat on his hand, coating his middle finger. He circled his thumb over the flesh. Without any warning, he inserted the saliva-coated finger inside Jaemin's entrance to which the latter elicited the loudest moan he had ever let out.

Jaemin gaped, his mouth wide open. He stayed still, afraid that if he made any move, he'd feel more pain from the insertion. However, Jeno pulled his finger out right away, reckoning for him to lie down.

"Did it hurt you?" Jeno had asked, his face serious.

"Y-Yes," Jaemin answered, trying not to meet Jeno's clouded gaze, turning his head to the side to hide his blush.

"Okay, let's not do it." 

"N-No!" Jaemin even surprised himself at the protest. "I-I'm sure I'd be able to adjust to it!"

"You're a virgin," Jeno argued that time, "do you really wanna lose it to me?"

Biting his bottom lip as he looked down shyly, Jaemin nodded, inching closer to where Jeno was and capturing the latter's lips in a gentle kiss. Before he could even deepen the kiss, though, Jeno laid him down, lifting both of his legs and resting them on the older's shoulders.

"Are you ready?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Alright, take a deep breath," Jeno had uttered, spitting on Jaemin's hole and spreading it. He then spat on his hand once again, coating his middle finger. Slowly but surely, Jeno inserted his thick, meaty finger, stopping when Jaemin almost started crying once again. "Relax, start pushing."

By the time Jaemin had adjusted, he reckoned Jeno to move his finger. And he couldn't stop himself from acting like a bitch in the heat when Jeno's finger rubbed on the walls of his insides, fingering him in a gentle manner.

"M-More..."

Chuckling at that, Jeno inserted another finger, his pace becoming faster. When he was sure Jaemin could take another one, he inserted another finger. This time, Jaemin had tears all over his face from the pleasure.

Jeno halted from what he was doing, jacking off his cock. Jaemin whined, making the older chuckle. Jeno then rubbed the head of his cock onto the pink hole of the boy before him.

"Are you ready?" Jeno had teased, licking his lips and kissing Jaemin's lips with force to assert his dominance.

Jaemin couldn't form any word, so he nodded without saying anything.

Coating his cock with his saliva, Jeno guided his legs onto his shoulders, slowly putting his prick inside Jaemin's hole, cursing at, probably, the most sexually pleasuring thing he'd ever done. Jaemin's inside was hot, even hotter than his mouth. And Jeno couldn't help but moan just as loud as the boy in front of him, and he hadn't even inserted his cock fully yet, just the head. He pushed it more, having his cock midway before stopping when he noticed Jaemin was trying not to scream, causing the latter's veins to show underneath the skin. Jeno could see that Jaemin was trying to control his breathing, and he certainly felt bad.

"Hey," he’d called out, "you alright?"

"Y-Yes." Jaemin tried to smile, failing miserably. "Just give me time to adjust..."

And Jeno did just that. He waited for less than half a minute then began to insert more of himself into Jaemin until he reached the end. Jeno started moving, thrusting his hips back and forth in a fairly slow manner. When Jaemin demanded more of it, he started putting more force into his thrusts, slamming himself onto Jaemin, his balls diving deep into Jaemin's ass crack.

"You like that?" Jeno kept thrusting hard, eliciting a melodic thrusting sound as their bodies continued to merge. "Your inside is so hot, and it keeps sucking my cock in. You like that, baby?"

"Yes, I like it!" Jaemin cried. "I love it! I love it so much! Lee Jeno, please, give me more."

"You're too formal. Just call me, hyung."

"O-Okay, please, I want more, hyung!"

"Look at you, so sinful. I bet all the guys who are after you don't know that you have this side." Jeno had chuckled to himself. "They don't know that you crave for my cock, that you don't want anyone but me. You love sucking hyung's cock and getting fucked by hyung, right?"

Not finding the words to say, Jaemin nodded rapidly. "Yes, hyung. I love it..."

"What?" Jeno had teased, slowing down his thrust and then slamming with one forceful thrust. "I can't hear you, baby."

"I love getting fucked by you, Jeno-hyung!" Jaemin had cried, writhing like he'd never done before.

Jeno just smirked as a response. He bent down until he could kiss Jaemin's lips with so much passion. It lasted for several seconds before Jeno rested his face on Jaemin's neck, sucking on it as his thrusts began to be violent, making the younger scream both in pleasure and in pain. Jeno could feel he was hitting the right spot. He continued with his rabid pace, hugging Jaemin by the waist, biting on his neck. This time, both of them were screaming like a madman.

Not a few seconds later, Jeno heard Jaemin cry out that the whole neighborhood probably heard and felt a hot, sticky liquid in between his and Jaemin's stomachs, signalling that the younger had finally cum. If it were even possible, Jeno's pace became even faster, moaning into Jaemin's neck, until he reached his peak, cumming inside the younger. He screamed as he spurted seven times.

It was the best orgasm Jeno has ever felt in a long time, possibly in his entire life. His breath was ragged, sweat dripping down their bodies. They stayed like that for about a minute, Jeno still inside Jaemin, hugging him by the waist, while Jaemin lay on his back, catching his breath as well after the intense sex they just had. Jeno then pulled out, proceeding to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling for a couple of minutes.

He then stood up. "Do you want to shower?"

"I-I'm tired," Jaemin had responded shyly, pulling the blanket over his chest, acting as if they hadn't just had the best sex ever.

Nodding, Jeno grabbed the discarded clothes that Jaemin let him borrow, going to the bathroom to shower. As soon as he stepped inside the bathroom, he saw his reflection in the mirror, naked. And then it dawned on him. He just had sex with the Na Jaemin who he had no romantic feelings for, whatsoever, due to the heavy burden weighing on his shoulders caused by his family problems.

Na Jaemin is wonderful, amazing even. He would be so much better than being with someone as unstable as Jeno. He looks like full of love, and that pisses Jeno off. He is also a great company with his contradicting bubbly yet shy personality. Not to mention, Na Jaemin is attentive, often taking in the smallest information and bringing it up at randomest times to make Jeno feel like he is important, like he matters.

Jeno set foot inside the shower room, letting himself soak as he thought hard what to do next. He ran his hands through his head.

He would clear everything by the next day.

The sun hadn't even risen yet when Lee Jeno woke up from his sleep, still pretty much groggy and tired from last night's activity with the sleeping figure next to him. The nightlight that was designed like a moon that Jeno didn't even notice the previous night was on, illuminating the flawless skin and innocent face of Na Jaemin.

Jeno stared at Na Jaemin's sleeping face for a solid ten seconds, debating on what he should do next. He knew he could just leave without telling the Jaemin and pretend this whole fiasco never happened, but he also wanted to, as much as possible, minimize the potential pain that Jaemin would feel if he ever tells him that none of the things happened between them meant anything.

Out of frustration, he heaved a deep sigh, rubbing his face with his hands. He did it because he wanted to distract himself, yet it seemed like it only added to the list of things to be stressed about. It was an asshole move, that Lee Jeno knew, but he was so desperate to feel something else, something that wasn't pain, doubt, and misery. He had every bit of idea how selfish it was, but he hadn't thought through what the outcome would be.

Pushing himself up, Jeno trudged out of the bed, collecting the clothes Jaemin let him borrow and throwing them to the laundry basket that was sitting somewhere inside the latter's room before getting his neatly folded clothes and wearing them.

Jeno then went back to Jaemin's room, getting a sticky note from the latter's table, writing something down.

 _Thank you for letting me stay the night,_ the note read. He placed it neatly on the table before he stood over the bed, staring at Jaemin for a couple of seconds before taking his leave.

-

And that was the tale of how he fucked up. Now, as the bell rang, snapping him out from the flashback, he couldn't help but to think how to face Na Jaemin anymore.

"Seriously, dude, where were you last night?" Kim Sunwoo, one of his closest friends, asked as they walked across the hall together with Kim Woojin who was busy texting on his phone. "Uncle Taeyong was very worried about you. He was crying on the phone when he called my dad."

"W-What?" Jeno said in surprised. When he got home from Jaemin's house, his papa Taeyong was already fast asleep and his daddy Jaehyun was nowhere to be found, just like his Mark-hyung. He showered for a bit, got dressed, and went straight to school.

"I doubt he even got an ounce of sleep," Sunwoo said worriedly. "I got to talk to him on the phone because dad thought I knew where you were so he let me talk with Uncle Taeyong. He couldn't even form the right words from too much crying. Jeno, be honest, what's happening?"

Jeno kept mum in deep thought while Sunwoo got Woojin's attention. He was no longer busy with his phone but staring at Jeno's face, trying to read him.

"Dude, you can tell us if something's bothering you," Woojin said. "I know you don't really like telling your problems, but know that you gotta let things out sometimes. Emotions can be a bit overwhelming. Bottled feelings are destructive. They tend to explode out of nowhere when triggered."

"But don't think we're trying to guilt-trip you or something," Sunwoo intervened. "Tell us when you're finally ready."

"Yeah," Jeno responded, feeling a tad better. Nodding, he said, "I will take note of that. I'll tell you guys once I'm ready."

Sunwoo put his hand comfortingly on Jeno's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as a sign of reassurance. "We always got your back, Woojin and I. I don't know, maybe Na Jaemin, too."

Jeno's heart skipped at that. He didn't know why, and it confused him. So, he decided to leave it at the back of his mind.

The three of them arrived at the cafeteria, Sunwoo and Woojin proceeding to the counter to order for the three of them, whereas Jeno walked to their usual table and sat mindlessly. Shortly after, Jaemin's friends, Choi Jongho from Class 12-B, Kim Chaewon and Huang Renjun, both of which are from Class 12-A and are Jeno's classmates, entered the cafeteria but without Na Jaemin by their side. His eyes narrowed from the group to the other tables, searching for that familiar smile. When he didn't find it, his eyes unconsciously fixated on the doors, waiting expectantly.

"Looking for someone?" Woojin asked in curiosity, glancing at the entrance of the cafeteria for a split second before he and Sunwoo placed the trays of food on their table.

"No," Jeno said in an immediate tone, almost as if trying to deny something he was caught of doing.

Truth be told, he wasn't ready to face Jaemin just yet. He was afraid, and that feeling only ever visits him when he thinks of the possible outcome of his parents' constant fight. However, he was curious why was the boy hadn't entered the cafeteria just yet. And honestly, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, he knew deep down in his heart, he wanted to see that tantalizing smile.

Only when classes ended that same day Jeno realized that he didn't see Jaemin peek from the outside of his room to look for him. Although it was creepy at first, he got kind of used to it. Now, Jaemin's dedication to see him every interval between classes actually amused him.

Maybe not seeing Na Jaemin that day might be a relief, but Lee Jeno was worried if something happened to the boy. After all, he was kind of rough.

-

The following days, there was still no sign of Na Jaemin, and it'd been four days since he saw him. He no longer cared if he wasn't ready to talk to Jaemin just yet, he just wanted to make sure that the boy was all right. So, he found himself a couple of meters away from Jaemin's classroom when lunch came. He was about to approach the boy's clique when two students from Class 12-B passed by him, conversing in hushed tones.

"Do you know why Na Jaemin hasn't been coming to school?"

"I heard from Jongho he's not feeling well."

"Is it serious?"

"I don't know, but I'm hoping it isn't. Jaemin's really nice. It's great to have him around. His happy vibe is so contagious. Our classroom's atmosphere has been so dull ever since his absence."

"Agree, I hope he gets better."

"He should get himself checked at the hospital or something."

"Lee Jeno?" Startled, Jeno jumped at the voice. It was Huang Renjun, staring at him, puzzled. "Is there someone you're looking for?"

"H-Huh?"

"Are you, perhaps, looking for Jaemin?"

"N-No—"

"He's at home," Huang Renjun said. "I droppbed by his house on the way home three days ago, and he could barely walk. He's been feeling a bit better lately, though. He'll probably be able to go to school tomorrow. So, there's no need for you to worry."

"I-I'm not worried," Jeno retaliated.

"Yeah, sure. I totally believe you," Huang Renjun responded, waving his hand dismissively. In spite of that, however, he knew Huang Renjun didn't buy what he said. "I'm hungry, so I'll be going with my friends. See you around."

Jeno sighed in relief as soon as he saw Huang Renjun's retreating figure. At least Na Jaemin was getting better. When he heard from Huang Renjun that Na Jaemin could barely walk, he felt bad. It was Jeno's doing. Had he not been rough on the poor boy, Jaemin would've been able to go to school. Na Jaemin was a virgin for goodness' sake!

"Hey Jeno," Sunwoo called, Woojin tagging along, approaching him mindlessly, "let's go?"

Jeno nodded, glancing at the empty seat of Na Jaemin momentarily from the outside as he trudged his way into the cafeteria.

When classes ended that day, Jeno didn't stay at the library. Well, there really wasn't any reason to stay there since Jaemin wasn't around to stalk him. He wouldn't lie. It was actually amusing how Jaemin would hide behind the shelves, thinking he was being subtle and slick when he clearly wasn't.

It was annoying at first because it made Jeno uncomfortable how Jaemin would sit somewhere, just staring at his face for the whole day.

Jeno hasn't seen anyone as dedicated as Jaemin. Sure, there were other boys and girls who would follow or stalk him, but then they eventually got bored when all Jeno did was linger around school, specifically in library where nobody's allowed to make the littlest noise.

Jaemin, however, was persistent. Sometimes, the latter would fall asleep. In the end, Jeno would be the one stalking Jaemin without Jeno even noticing.

The sky was dark, and it was pouring so hard. Good thing Jeno brought an umbrella. He walked for several minutes before reaching _home._ It was no longer home, at least it once was.

He turned the knob, entering the place. He then noticed a familiar pair of shoes that belongs to his older brother, Mark, on the rack. He hasn't seen him for a week literally, and Jeno knew it was because of his parents' fight. His brother is just as affected as he is.

He saw Mark sitting on the sofa in the living room, the latter had his head bowed down, his fingers interlocked. Mark looked like a skeleton, like the older hasn't been eating for the week he was gone.

"Hyung?" Jeno called softly, slowly walking up to his older brother.

When Mark looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and his face had tear stains.

"Jen," Mark uttered, forcing a smile. "Sorry if hyung worried you, okay?"

"What's wrong, hyung?" Jeno asked, sounding concerned. The only time he saw Mark cry was when Jeno got into an accident where the older thought Jeno was going to die, and that was a long time ago. "Hyung, you're making me worry."

"Papa..." Mark muttered, his voice cracking in the process. And then the tears were back again, cascading down Mark's hollow cheeks. They fell down continuously like the water from a broken pipe.

"What's wrong with Papa?"

"He's gone."

"...Gone?" Jeno laughed humorlessly. "Hyung, please, don't joke around like that. It's not funny."

"He left us a note."

"W-What?"

As he stood in the middle of the living room, with the only source of light coming from the same area, Jeno felt his heart sinking faster than it has ever dropped before when Mark handed him a piece of paper containing the last words of his papa. His lips trembled, hands shaking as he scanned the note. And then all it took was for the rain to pour harder for Jeno to finally break down. He fell to the floor, landing harder than he had anticipated, but he could barely feel the physical pain. He was numb at that point. Only the emotional wreckage done by the words his father wrote him was all he could feel, and he wished the emotional pain would go away as well.

Mark knelt in front of him, wiping the tears streaming down his face as they both cry over the sound of rain hitting the roof of what they once called home.

"It'll be okay, Jeno, alright?" Mark cried, not even believing his own words.

"Hyung, how?" Jeno asked in desperation.

"I saw the divorce papers inside Dad's closet a week ago. It was the reason I decided to not come home for a while," Mark explained in between sobs. "I couldn't believe at first. I knew Dad and Papa had disagreements, and I knew their fights were getting serious, but I never thought it would come to this..."

"Where's Dad?"

"I don't know..."

"I should've stayed home."

"It isn't your fault, Jen."

"It might not be," Jeno tried to argue, "but I could've prevented him from leaving had I only stayed!"

"I wasn't here, too. I was away for a week, but it's none of our fault, okay?"

"Hyung," Jeno cried helplessly, "where did Papa go?"

"I don't know, Jeno-ya..."

"Where's Dad?" Jeno hastily stood up, running to his parents' shared bedroom. No signs of Jaehyun could be found. He then proceeded to search for his dad in the bathroom, kitchen, and even his own bedroom. Still, there was no Jaehyun. "Tell me, hyung, where is he!"

"I-I don't know, Jeno." Mark looked at the floor, as if it could give him the answer to his brother's question if he stared at it long enough. "I seriously don't..."

As if on cue, the front door opened, revealing Jung Jaehyun that was clearly drenched in the rain.

"Jeno...?" Jaehyun's brows crunched. Before he could even ask why both of his sons were crying, a fist landed solidly on his right cheek near his mouth, sending him on his knees. Had he not put his hand on the wall on instinct as a support, his head would've been cracked open.

"Fuck you, you cheating bastard!" Jeno screamed at the top of his lungs, trying to get a good hit at his father as Mark tried to hold and calm him down. "Because of you, Papa left us!"

Jaehyun felt something trickle at the corner of his mouth. There was blood when he wiped it off with the back of his hand. At first, he wasn't able to register what his youngest son was saying because of the punch, but then he froze in his spot, his eyes shifting from the floor to his sons, flickering.

"W-What?"

Jeno was no longer struggling to break free from his brother's hold, but he was still visibly fuming.

"Dad," Mark uttered in distress, his hands still all over his brother, "Papa left."

The house was enveloped in a complete silence for a couple of seconds, and the only sound could be heard was the rain outside. Nobody dared to move.

"N-No, he won't," Jaehyun denied, not believing his eldest son's statement. "He wouldn't do that."

"He fucking did," Jeno spat.

"Papa found the divorce paper inside your closet," Mark explained. "And in case you're wondering how I knew, I found out about it a week ago. It was the reason why I went away to cool my mind..."

"M-Mark..." Jaehyun looked at everything but his sons' eyes. He felt the tears prickling his eyes, the surge of emotion finally dawning on him. His eyes traveled from the floor to the appliances, the small hallways, the spaces of their house. And for once, their _home_ never looked this empty. As if his eyes were playing tricks on him, he saw the ghosts of their past.

There he was, typing on his laptop as he tied to chase after his deadlines. His sweet, sweet husband, Taeyong, was humming lightly to their theme song, ironing his work clothes. Their eldest, Mark, was drawing, teaching his younger brother, Jeno, how to properly hold a pencil. In that moment, Jaehyun felt bliss as he lost himself on his own imagination. However, slowly, like everything was a speck of dust in the wind, the fragments of their past disintegrated in the air, vanishing completely.

"Was she worth it..?" Jeno whispered almost inaudibly. He wasn't looking at his father, but the tone of his voice was demanding for answers, almost begging.

At that, Jaehyun started realizing everything. He wanted to laugh at his own misery, at himself. He couldn't have possibly thought she was going to be worth it, right..? But of course, he did, initially.

Jaehyun reunited with Kang Seulgi months ago. It was when Taeyong started getting busy with his job, always being on duty and going on medical missions. He has always been proud of Taeyong for being so committed to his job and for being so selfless, but the latter's absence was taking a toll on him.

He and Kang Seulgi go all the way back in high school. Aside from Taeyong, she was the only person Jaehyun ever loved deeply. Unfortunately for him, Seulgi's love for Jaehyun wasn't as fiery as his love for her back then. Eventually, she left wordlessly, leaving Jaehyun wondering if they were still together. He waited for her indefinite reappearance, but Jaehyun never got it.

And then Jaehyun met Lee Taeyong in college. From there, the rest is history.

With both of his and Taeyong's career continually taking turns, they both became busier, if that was even possible. And when they would be home together, they were either tired to talk or they would find something to disagree on. What started as disagreements became arguments that eventually lead to full-blown fights.

Because of that, Jaehyun sought for emotional and physical gratification. Coincidentally, Seulgi was a new employee at the company he's working for, and she became his dirty little secret.

Truth be told, Jaehyun didn't feel that _something_ he was looking for. Sure, the way they would find themselves entangled on her bed after long hours of work brought excitement to him initially, but it would always bring him shame and regret, always.

He never found that emotional gratification in Seulgi. And the sex, later on, became an obligation, as if to say that there was something between him and Seulgi.

At some point, Jaehyun thought of ending it with her. He had always known it's always going to be Taeyong, but he still tried with Seulgi out of fear that his husband had already found another. But when he was about to talk things out, he saw his husband with a colleague in an intimate moment, believing that Taeyong was possibly having an affair, so he went to her place and slept with her.

The next morning, Seulgi handed her divorce papers. "Just get rid of him, and then we can finally live together."

Jaehyun walked home alone, confused, and more than anything, defeated that day. He asked himself, _is this what he really wants? Is she even worth it?_ If he and Taeyong ever divorced, they're not the only ones going to be affected by their split up. Mark and Jeno would be affected, as well. And so, he hid it inside his closest, at the deepest part. Not really the best place to hide something like divorce papers, but maybe he didn't really want to hide it from his husband. Maybe he wanted Taeyong to see the papers to assert his dominance, to say that he can do well without him.

It was all because of his pride, his ego.

And now, under his eldest son's sympathetic and his youngest son's judging eyes, all he could ever do was sob helplessly, something he hadn't done ever since the passing of his parents.

"Y-You r-ruined our f-family," Jeno said in between sobs, his tears streaming down his face once again as he witnessed his dad, the hero he's always looked up to, cry in devastation as everything started sinking in him.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Jaehyun cried, kneeling in front of his sons, asking for their forgiveness. "T-This isn't w-what I w-wanted."

"Y-Your apology w-won't fix a-anything, Dad," Jeno argued, refusing to look at his father in the eyes. "I-I can't even l-look at you r-right now."

"I-I'm sorry..."

Shaking himself out of his older brother's hold, Jeno stormed out of the living room, striding to his room and locking it.

It's hard to believe, Jeno thought, that the hero he once looked up to could turn into such a villain.

But this fallout—he should've expected it.

He should've known that somewhere between the fights, the late arrivals, and the refusal acknowledge that something was wrong, this was bound to happen. However, every single one of them was in denial. They believed that if an issue is ignored, it goes away with time, like it never even happened in the first place.

And maybe, it wasn't just his dad's fault but also his own for not meddling when he knew he should have. Maybe he was at fault, too, for not helping his fathers to get back what they once had.

And so, Jeno, exhausted from the nonstop sobbing, lay down his bed, sleep overtaking him.

When he woke up the next morning, he saw his father in the living room, sitting on the couch, staring at nothing in particular. His dad looked like he hasn't slept a wink. The bags under Jaehyun's eyes were so prominent it almost covered the entirety the bottom of his eyes.

Jeno ignored him. He didn't really want to go to school that day, but going to school was better than staying home, if he could even call it a home.

-

"Lee Jeno, I need to talk to you."

Inside the faculty room, Jeno stood in front of his homeroom teacher, Mr. Kim, who was looking at him in disbelief.

"Is there anything wrong, Lee Jeno?" Mr. Kim said sternly, getting something from his desk and handing it to him.

"What's this, Mr. Kim?"

"Just look at it," Mr. Kim uttered plainly. "I don't usually show my records to my students, but you are an exceptional student, Lee Jeno. You have represented this school in academic competitions multiple times in the past. I can see that you have a bright future ahead. So, as early as possible, I want to address what's happening with your grades."

Jeno's gripped on the record hardened.

"It's the last year of high school for you. Plus, Suneung is approaching. This is a crucial part of your student life. You have to focus on your studies right now more than ever. So, whatever you're going through right now, set it aside."

_So, whatever you're going through right now, set it aside._

"Set it aside?" Jeno laughed mockingly. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Mr. Kim, but your role as a teacher does not concern my personal life. I'd like to keep our relationship as student and teacher. I don't need you meddling with the things I have to deal with. Thank you."

With that, Jeno walked out, his fingers trembling in anger. Just how dare that teacher say that to him? He doesn't what Jeno's going through to say something as insensitive as that.

Jeno regretted coming to school earlier than usual.

-

First class rolled around in the blink of an eye. Just when Jeno wanted to be distracted from all his thoughts, time and the odds seemed to have another plan for him. It's like he was trapped within his own mind, and that was the last thing he wanted. As the teacher said her goodbye, exiting the room, he noticed Huang Renjun sitting on a desk beside his.

"There's that someone you've been looking for," the man of Chinese descent said, nodding his way outside the classroom.

Confused and surprised why Huang Renjun was talking to him for the second time within a span of two days, his eyes shifted from the Chinese guy to the familiar mop of light brown hair sticking outside. Na Jaemin was standing timidly in the hallway, sporting a familiar captivating yet bashful smile, waving his hand in the air daintily for Lee Jeno to notice.

Now, Jeno will admit, he'd been looking for the boy for a couple of days now. He was worried. But today wasn't really the best time for them to interact, Jeno knew that.

Jeno knew that keeping Na Jaemin around wasn't the best idea. He'd just end up using the boy, and that's the last thing he wanted to do now that he realized some things. Sleeping with Na Jaemin was already giving the boy the wrong impression. So, after a few seconds of debating internally if he should acknowledge Na Jaemin's presence, Jeno chose to ignore the former, opening a calculus book he wasn't even reading in the first place.

Jeno felt something poking him from behind. Annoyed, he turned his body, frowning. "What?"

"Dude, chill." Kim Sunwoo chuckled heartily at the reaction before nodding his head to the figure Jeno knew all too well outside. "Look."

"I know."

"And?"

"What and?"

"You won't even say hi to him?"

"No," Jeno replied plainly, going back to his text book, flipping a page mindlessly.

He hadn't noticed that Huang Renjun had gone back to his seat, shaking his head at him.

"Seriously, Jeno, make up your mind," Sunwoo said, shaking his head as he gazed at the crestfallen face of Na Jaemin. "You've been looking for him the whole time he was gone. Now that he's here, you act like you're annoyed by his mere presence."

Jeno's eyes softened for a moment, but he didn't dare say anything.

"Make up your damn mind. If you like him, I don't think there's anything wrong if you pursue him. If you don't, stop giving the poor false hope," Sunwoo added, his eyes not leaving Na Jaemin.

"I-I just..." Jeno started, not really knowing what to say. "I just have a lot in mind right now."

But Sunwoo didn't say anything anymore, in which Jeno was thankful for. With all the family and academic problems he's having, he wasn't sure if he would ever come up to a concrete decision of what to do with what he's feeling.

For every interval between classes, Jeno noticed Jaemin peeking outside from his peripheral vision, trying to get a good look of him. He tried to pay no mind, although it was taking everything in him not to actually look or give the boy a brief smile. He continued to ignore him, but that could only last for so long. When the bell rang, he immediately went out of his room in long strides, his friends, Kim Sunwoo and Kim Woojin, trying to catch up to him, before Na Jaemin could even get the chance to approach him.

"Dude, what the hell, slow down," Woojin said, trying to catch his breath. "Are you really that hungry?"

"More like he's trying to avoid someone," Sunwoo commented sneeringly. "He's trying to avoid Na Jaemin."

"What?"

"Exactly."

"Will both of you please shut the fuck up?" Jeno snarled, stopping in his tracks. "I'm not avoiding him. There's no reason for me to do that, because there's nothing going on between us."

"Never said there is," Sunwoo muttered under his breath.

Woojin nudged his friend. "Let's just stay out of it."

The three of them gathered in their usual table, Sunwoo and Woojin ordering for the three of them as Jeno lazed around in his seat, his eyes closed, while blasting rock music through his earphones.

A couple minutes later, someone tapped him on his shoulder. He saw his friends standing, placing their trays on their table.

And then he noticed Na Jaemin standing a table away from them.

"H-Hi, Kim Woojin, Kim Sunwoo." Jaemin avoided their gazes as he stood with his tray full of food on his hands. "Lee Jeno..."

"Na Jaemin," Kim Sunwoo said, smiling in acknowledgment, "there's no need to be so uptight. We're the same age, you can just call us by our names."

Jaemin nodded with a bashful smile. "C-Can I... Can I sit with you guys?"

Jeno stopped moving, realizing what the boy had uttered. He clucked his tongue in annoyance, dropping his disposable pair of chopsticks. For a moment, he felt bad when he saw that familiar disappointment in Jaemin's eyes because of his behavior, but he immediately brushed it off.

"Of course you—"

"Don't you have your friends over there?" Jeno plainly said, devoid of emotion, motioning to Jaemin's friends who were smiling knowingly a couple of tables away from them. "Why don't you sit with them?"

Jaemin bit his lips, his heart beating so fast. He stood frozen in his spot, feeling the slowly creeping attention of everyone else inside the cafeteria.

Sensing the awkward atmosphere, Kim Sunwoo tried to laugh it off half-heartedly. "Hey, Jeno, what are you saying?"

"What I'm saying is he has friends over there, so—"

"You're more than welcome to sit with us, Jaemin," Kim Woojin intervened, giving Jaemin a warm, genuine smile.

Jeno sighed before going back to eating wordlessly.

Pursing his lips, Jaemin still didn't make any more, almost backing out in shame.

Not wanting to let the opportunity sit with Lee Jeno, however, he took reluctant steps until he reached the table, pulling one of the chairs and sitting down. He delicately placed the tray in front of him, receiving tender smiles from Kim Sunwoo and Kim Woojin. Careful not to irk Jeno any more, Jaemin didn't speak the entire lunch time, which made Jeno feel bad if he were to be honest.

Jeno was trying to sense everything. As much as he didn't want to hurt the boy, there was no way this was going to be easy if Jaemin would keep this up. And he knew to himself that it was bound to hurt Jaemin. Hell, he didn't just kiss him. He slept with him. The bad thing is that it _is_ making him feel things—things he was sure he hadn't realized until they were able to share one passionate night. It was confusing, and yet Jeno was determined to put an end to this. That, he was sure of.

After lunch, time seemed to pass by like a blur. The sun-stricken hallways were illuminating, giving a sense warm feeling as the final bell rang.

The students flocked the hallways, some planning on going to noraebang while others' talking about the upcoming exam. Jeno lazily slumped the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, deciding to go home when reminded of the text his older brother sent him earlier.

_Jen, Dad and I aren't home. We're looking for Papa. I cooked for you before we went out. Take care of yourself._

He stared at the text message, feeling Woojin put his arm around his shoulder.

"Let's go?" Woojin asked, Sunwoo standing beside the latter expectantly.

Jeno nodded, giving a tight-lipped smile as they made their way out of the classroom. What he didn't know was a couple of students were hiding behind a classroom door, eyes fixated on him and his friends as they make a turn.

"Are you sure about this, Nana?" Choi Jongho asked, concern visible in his eyes.

Although Jaemin wasn't sure either, he nodded with a smile, wanting this to go as he planned.

He and Jeno shared an intimate night... He was sure Jeno must have some sort of feelings for him, too. If Jeno doesn't have feelings for him, he's sure the latter wouldn't have slept with him. Jeno wouldn't have kissed him like Jaemin was his world, like Jaemin was the enlightenment he'd been wanting to achieve in order to be in Nirvana.

Although Jaemin wasn't sure about what he was to do, he was sure that Jeno felt something for him, as well…

The moment Jeno set foot outside the school's main building, his figure was hit by the sunlight, accentuating his features and highlighting the immaculate, black and white uniform he was wearing, grabbing the attention of everyone at the school grounds. With his hands both inserted inside his pockets as he walked with a posture like that of a supermodel, making the school ground look like a runway, Jeno suddenly heard that familiar voice—so familiar as he spent one of his nights hearing that beautiful voice calling out for him.

Jeno halted as did his two friends, but he didn't bother turning around, not really wanting to face the guy. At times, he feels like his mind is playing with him. He'd been wanting to see the boy in person ever since after the night he left him alone in his house, but then when Jaemin finally showed up, it was like something was whispering on his hears to make up his mind up first.

With what's happening with his family, his possible academic downfall, and now this, Jeno could no longer keep his sanity.

"Lee Jeno!" he heard the boy said. And Jeno could swear to the Gods above that the way Jaemin says his name is probably the most beautiful sound someone has ever uttered his name.

When Jeno finally turned to face Jaemin, the latter was sporting that familiar bashful smile.

_It pissed Jeno off._

There Na Jaemin was, catching his breath a couple meters away from where he stood, looking like the boy had just run a marathon just to catch up to him.

"Lee Jeno..." Jaemin called out shortly after his breathing became even. "C-Can we talk?"

Jeno looked at him expressionlessly, "Talk."

"Uh..." With reddened cheeks, Jaemin fidgeted with his fingers. "Can it be just the two of us...?"

"No," Jeno firmly stated, "if you want to talk, then talk here. Otherwise, I’ll go ahead, since I have more important matters to tend to."

If Jaemin was feeling shy several seconds ago, now he was embarrassed. Their exchange was gaining attention from other students—some even staying to see what was happening.

Kim Sunwoo and Kim Woojin looked at each other, worried for Jaemin.

"Jeno," Sunwoo whispered discreetly, "don't you think you're being too harsh on him?"

Without even trying to be subtle, Jeno, with his unreadable expression, said in a loud and clear manner, "No, this is the only way to put him in his place."

But that wasn't entirely what Jeno wanted to say. It was like his mouth wasn't cooperating with what his brain was trying to say. He knew he shouldn't be this cruel.

He's crazy.

Everything he thought through not to hurt Jaemin was put in vain.

Maybe this was all bound to happen.

Jeno, at that very moment, let go of his rationality. He just wanted this to be over in able to go looking for his father.

"Lee Jeno," Jaemin called once again, taking a deep breath, putting his right hand over his left chest, feeling his heartbeat. "I-I really like you..."

Jeno's heart pounded.

The students present at the school grounds collectively gasped at the sudden confession. Some of the girls were squealing, whispering among one another. The guys were mostly surprised, while a small number of them were jealous of Lee Jeno.

Jeno scanned his surroundings, not astounded by the support Na Jaemin was receiving from other students. After all, Na Jaemin has always been liked by everyone. With his enchanting smile, soft features, reserved personality that makes him cute, and pure intentions, who wouldn't like Na Jaemin?

Na Jaemin was a great person, that Jeno has always known ever since he noticed the boy.

_The time, however, wasn't right._

"I really, really like you..." Jaemin repeated, fiddling with his fingers. "And I'm pretty sure you already know that, right?"

Jeno's expression hardened but his heart was about to burst out of his chest, his fingertips shaking.

"I just want to say it so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to give you wrong signals," Jaemin chuckled to himself, looking at the ground. "I-I... I'd like to go out with you..."

_I'd like to go out with you._

That statement was like a robust and swift punch in the gut, but not even once did Jeno let his composure crumble. He heaved a deep sigh, clenching his jaws.

He perused the surroundings for the nth time, taking everything in. On his right, Jaemin's friends, Huang Renjun, Kim Chaewon, and Choi Jongho.

Huang Renjun had a small, knowing smile, his arms crossed, whereas Kim Chaewon was trying hard not to squeal, giving Jaemin a thumbs up. Choi Jongho didn't seem to be amused, though. The guy looked dispirited. Choi Jongho's eyes gave it all, but the smile plastered on his face was opposite his eyes reflect.

Jeno could also see his classmates, whispering and nodding among themselves. Beside him, Woojin and Sunwoo were looking at him expectantly, waiting for his response.

And Jaemin—Na Jaemin had a proud and genuine smile in contrast of what he was pulling earlier.

"Are you done?" was the first response Jeno uttered after a long while, and the pure, genuine smile Jaemin had on his face almost vanished along with the breeze that blew past them.

"H-Huh...?"

"Let me be honest with you, Na Jaemin," Jeno said loud and clear enough for everyone to hear. This time, the students were looking at him. Jaemin's knees were wobbling a little caused by the nervousness. "Let me get this straight through your thick skull, since you seem to be so dumb you can't even read obvious signs."

Everyone gaped at that, even Sunwoo and Woojin who attempted to drag him elsewhere. Jeno released himself from his friends' hold.

"The only reason I started talking to you is because I pitied you. You heard that right, I pitied you." Jeno smirked. "You looked so pathetic."

This time, hurt was evident on Jaemin's face. He was staring blankly at Jeno, gulping his spit as he tried to calm himself down and even his breathing.

"You were always following me around, like a stray dog looking for an owner. It was so annoying, I have to admit," Jeno continued carelessly. He couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. "So, in order for you to stop, I accepted that packed lunch you gave me. I thought you were going to stop, but you didn't."

Every word that was coming out of his mouth had self-infliction, like he was feeling the same magnitude of pain Jaemin was feeling, like they were somehow linked by an unknown entity. But he figured it was all right. That way, it'd be fair. Jaemin wouldn't be the only one scarred.

"And that night we slept together?" Jeno laughed. It sounded so sinister Choi Jongho couldn't help but to intervene. He punched Jeno with all his might before he was held back by a couple of guys who are, Jeno recognized as, Jaemin's classmates.

"You better fucking stop now!" Jongho screamed, trying to get a hold of Jeno.

Jeno stumbled on his feet. The corner of his lip was bleeding, but he didn't mind the pain. He looked at Jaemin again who was just staring at him impassively.

"That's a one-time thing," Jeno said. "You couldn't have possible thought that meant something now, could you?"

Jeno expected something—tears, anger, whining. However, he didn't get any of those. Instead, all he ever saw was betrayal, lost hope, and melancholy in Jaemin's eyes. He tried to smile in triumph, not really knowing why. Maybe it was his ego, maybe it was his pride.

When he looked at his surroundings once again, he saw some of them shaking their heads at him. Some were giving him dirty looks, throwing daggers in his way. Some of Jaemin's classmates were ready to jump him but chose not to when the latter stopped them.

"Don't..." Jaemin whispered, almost inaudible. "I-It's alright."

Those words seemed to stomp Jeno's heart repeatedly. The boy was trying his hardest not to cry.

Jeno's gaze lingered on Jaemin's frozen figure but the latter only looked down, his eyes roaming the ground as if looking for answers. And then he saw tears flowing down. Huang Renjun and Kim Chaewon hastily ran up to Jaemin, hoisting him to walk steadily as the latter staggered on his feet.

For a moment, Jeno wanted to take everything that came out of his mouth and sweep Jaemin off of his feet. But he knew that the situation was broken beyond repair. So, he did what he could only do, watch Jaemin struggle to stand on his own feet.

Their eyes crossed for a brief moment, and Jeno could feel the deepest stab on his heart as he saw the look of despair on Jaemin's face.

Jeno stood like a statue, staring at the retreating figure of Na Jaemin being assisted by the latter's friends. The onlooking students started dissipating from the scene, but not before giving Jeno a nasty look.

It wasn't like he didn't deserve it, anyway.

Shortly after, it was just Jeno and his two other friends who were left there.

"...That was really cruel, Jeno," Woojin muttered under his breath after a long silence. "If you didn't like him, you could've worded out the rejection better."

The leaves wavered in the breeze.

Silence.

"I-I can't—" Sunwoo started, struggling to form his words as he tried to look at everything but Jeno, "I can't even look at you right now."

From the corner of Jeno's eye, he saw Sunwoo turned on his heel and reluctantly walked away. Woojin looked at him for a brief moment before following Sunwoo right after, leaving Jeno alone with his own thoughts. He didn't know how long he stood there, but the sun had completely set by the time the school guard asked him why he still hadn't gone home.

It felt like the longest way home he'd ever had in his entire life. With all his thoughts mashed up, he couldn't think straight. He hadn't even noticed he already reached home. As soon as he opened the front door, the familiar silence greeted him. He turned the lights on, stopping for God knows how long as he tried to take everything in.

Slowly, he fished out his phone from his pocket, composing a text with his shaking fingers to send to Mark.

_Hyung, I'm gonna help in finding Papa._

-

The following days after that incident between him and Jaemin, Jeno didn't go to school to cool his mind. He used the time to look for his papa Taeyong, together with his Mark-hyung and his daddy Jaehyun.

He looked for his father everywhere—in every possible place where Taeyong could be.

He and his family searched for his father in the hospital Taeyong worked in, but the latter had resigned without any prior notice, which was why nobody knew or had an idea where Taeyong could be. They searched for Taeyong at his favorite restaurant, at the local park, at his closest friends' house, at the nearest hotel—everywhere. To no avail, however, there was no trace of Taeyong they were able to find.

Jeno spent sleepless night printing out flyers with a picture of Taeyong and his own contact and giving them out in the bustling streets of Seoul. Because of this, the whole school found out that his father was _missing._ So when Jeno went to school after a while, a lot of students were giving him a look of sympathy.

"Do you know why Lee Jeno's been absent for several days?" a girl whispered to her friend as soon as Jeno removed his backpack and sat down.

"Because of what he did to Na Jaemin?"

That made Jeno halt his movement. He wondered how Jaemin was. The guilt was creeping in once again as he was reminded of how the supposed confession of Jaemin turned into a confrontation.

"No," the girl replied, "someone saw him giving out flyers in the streets. It turns that his father is missing."

"Doesn't he have two fathers?" the other girl replied in wonder. "So, which one is missing?"

"The doctor one."

"Poor guy. He must've been so devastated that he needed to let out his frustration on someone."

"Yeah, and poor Na Jaemin for being the one who had to endure it."

Not being able to take it anymore, Jeno rose swiftly from his seat, turning to the two girls seated in the back.

"Are you done?" Jeno spat. His face was devoid of any emotion, but the way he spoke was so sharp the two girls almost felt a slice through their hearts. The girls cowered. "Instead of talking about other people's lives, why don't you mind your own business?"

Sunwoo and Woojin coincidentally saw the commotion but said nothing, proceeding on taking their seats, glancing in Jeno's way worriedly.

Noticing everyone's eyes on him, Jeno calmed himself down and took his seat again, not saying anything until it was lunch.

"Hey." It was Sunwoo who approached him. He could see the guilt in Sunwoo's eyes as the latter tried to avoid his gaze. "Let's have lunch."

Not wanting to make it more awkward, Jeno nodded wordlessly, following his friends closely behind. As he passed by the room of Class 12-B, he caught a small glimpse of Na Jaemin who was in a reverie. Jeno realized that not once did Jaemin try to peek in his room to look for him like the latter always does. He didn't wonder why. With what he did to Jaemin, Jeno knew it would end up like this.

For some reason, though, there was something Jeno was feeling that he couldn't explain. He didn't know which one he didn't like more, the attention he was initially getting from Jaemin or the lack thereof.

But who was he kidding? He didn't not like the attention from Jaemin. He was just in denial. Now, he no longer denies that he loved the attention from Jaemin—the attention he's always wanted from the people he cherishes the most.

When the trio arrived in the cafeteria, they did their routine—Jeno sitting by himself as Sunwoo and Woojin ordered. After approximately seven minutes that seemed like an eternity, Jeno saw the boy he undeniably missed, walking timidly behind his friends as they sat at their table.

In contrast to what Jeno was so used to seeing, Jaemin wasn't...himself. Jaemin's expression wasn't friendly nor was it approachable. The innocence and purity Jeno was so used to seeing was no longer there. It felt like it was replaced by a barrier of some sort. Jaemin seemed jumpy, often flinching when someone said something out of nowhere. Not only that, he seemed to be more cautious, more careful of whatever he did.

Jeno didn't even notice that he was already staring at hard at the boy until Woojin snapped him out of his trance with his fingers.

"Jeno," Woojin called, glancing in Jaemin's way.

"W-What?"

Woojin clucked his tongue in disapproval, shaking his head at him. "You're staring at him."

"I-I'm not..."

"We heard what happened about your father," Woojin looked at him softly, eyes glistening. "Jeno... You could've told us."

"What for?" Jeno asked in a passive-aggressive manner. "So you guys could pity me?"

"It's not that—"

"Then what for?"

"—So we could've helped you sort your feelings out," Woojin stated firmly. "We could've helped you figure things out and not lash out at Jaemin."

Jeno didn't respond.

"It was unfair for him you know?" Sunwoo interjected.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Jeno snapped, his brows cocked in anger. "Do you think I wanted that?"

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know!" Jeno said, raising his voice by accident. "I just... I just..."

"You're confused and you feel lost because of all the things happening to you, Jeno," Woojin said. "Jaemin could've helped you out. When we started noticing there was something going on with you, it all went away when you started hanging out with him."

Jeno remained silent.

"Jaemin would've been the best person to help you out, but you were so angry at what's happening that you lashed out at someone you thought was the one who lived a carefree life, someone who you thought doesn't deal with any sort of problem..." Woojin explained, his stare piercing right through Jeno. "But you're wrong, Jeno... You're wrong in so many levels and in every aspect."

Jeno hesitantly glanced in Jaemin's way, feeling his heart drop as he saw the eyes that shone so brightly they were almost blinding.

"What do you mean?" Jeno muttered under his breath.

"If you want to find out, go to the seventh district's hospital thirty minutes before the first class starts," Sunwoo said. "And if there's any way we could help in finding Uncle Taeyong, tell us. We'll do it for you."

-

"Jeno?" Jaehyun called from the living room, noticing Jeno was already in uniform. "Why are you up so early?"

The sun hadn't even risen yet, but Jeno was already on his way, not to school but to the hospital his friends mentioned to him the day before. Jeno saw his father was looking at him expectantly, waiting for a response. He didn't give any, though. He just spared him a glance that didn't even last for half a second before grabbing his backpack.

The bags under Jaehyun's eyes were so thick, and his eyes were bloodshot. There was a bottle of wine halfway finished and an empty martini glass on the small, wooden table. Sitting next to it was the signed divorced papers, staring at Jaehyun and making him realize how big of a mistake he did when he accepted them from Kang Seulgi.

He ended what he had with Seulgi shortly after he found out that Taeyong left. He had also quit his job to focus his time on finding wherever the hell his husband is, but Jaehyun has been neglecting his health. He had become an alcoholic and insomniac, often getting lost in his good ole memories he had with his dear husband and his two sons. Sometimes, he would think that he deserved this—whatever this is he was going through.

"I'll drop by the hospital Papa used to work at," Jeno said, spraying perfume all over his body. "I'll ask for some updates from his former colleagues."

Jaehyun nodded slowly, clasping his hands together over his chin. "Thank you, Jeno..."

"There's no need to thank me. I'm doing this because I love Papa," Jeno clapped back. "Tell me, Dad, did you cheat on him because you, too, love him?"

When Jeno didn't receive any response from his father but a look of shame, Jeno chuckled humorlessly in sinister.

“I figured.” Jeno stepped foot outside the house dressed in his uniform over a thick layer of coat to block the cold weather. After several seconds of walking, he found himself waiting at the bus stop as he constantly checked the time on his wristwatch. When the bus arrived, Jeno immediately hopped on, swiping his transportation card and sitting beside the glass window. He played music on his phone, attaching his earphones to his ears before yawning and closing his eyes. By the time he arrived at his stop, Jeno got off, heaving a deep sigh. He then trudged his way into the hospital, his heart thumping heavily of what could happen.

He had literally no idea why he went in the hospital. All he knew is it was something he should do. So, without knowing what to expect, he followed what Sunwoo said. And now, he was here.

He looked around for a bit, searching for some familiar faces until he recognized one of the doctors leaning on the desk of the main reception.

"Uncle Kibum!" Jeno called from the entrance, his hands clutching harder on the straps of his backpack as he made his way to Kibum with large strides.

"Jeno," Kibum said in surprise, not expecting him to be there so early in the morning, "it's you. Good thing I started early today."

"Sorry for the inconvenience, Uncle," he replied, bowing his head slightly.

"Don't think about it." Kibum smiled, caressing the back of his head. "I'm guessing you're here to see if there's any update about your papa?"

"Yeah." Jeno offered a small smile, nodding his head. But that wasn't all, he wanted to say. "Has he texted or called you or anyone here?"

Kibum smiled sadly, and that was a clear indication that Taeyong hadn't contacted anyone in the latter's previous workplace.

"Oh..." Jeno felt defeated, but he immediately hid it with a smile. "I guess we just have to work harder in order to find Papa."

"But I promise to contact you, Mark, or your dad in case I hear anything about him that would help in finding him."

Pursing his lips, Jeno nodded with a tight-lipped smile. What he didn't know was Jaemin had walked in, clueless about his presence, holding a paper bag containing a lunch box. Only did Jeno noticed the boy when Jaemin turned to turn to where the elevator was.

"Wait, Uncle."

He wasn't even able to explain as he sprinted to the direction where Jaemin turned. When he caught a glimpse of Jaemin, the light brown-haired boy was about to enter the elevator. He then ran as fast as he could, but the doors already closed.

There was no way it'd be a great to guess which floor Jaemin would alight.

"Jeno, why did you run?" Kibum asked once he caught on. "Were you chasing after Jaemin?"

Jeno looked at the man in surprise. "You know Na Jaemin, Uncle?"

"Yeah," Kibum responded, "doesn't he go to your school?"

"He does," Jeno said. "We're actually in the same year."

Kibum nodded in understanding.

"So, I'll go ahead now, alright?" Kibum asked. "I still have a lot of patients to tend to."

As the man was about to turn on his heel, Jeno blurted out, "Wait!"

"Huh?"

"Do you—" Jeno took a deep breath. "Do you know why he's here?"

"Jeno, I'm not allowed to talk about that," Kibum said apologetically. Jeno nodded slowly in defeat. He should've known it was going to be like this. Seeing the look of gloom in the younger's eyes, Kibum said, "But if you really wanna find out, go to the Room 705."

Jaemin waited a couple of minutes for the elevator to open as soon as Kibum bid his goodbye. He tapped his right foot in boredom as it got crowded when people waited in order to pile in.

The moment the elevator opened, Jeno wasted no time to enter, immediately pressing the seventh button. For some reason, he couldn't help but to sigh deeply, his cheeks puffing out. He was nervous. He had to be discreet or else, he would never find out why Sunwoo made him go there in the first place.

He was supposed to step out on the seventh floor, and yet, although it was literally six floor away from the ground floor, the trip felt so long Jeno had to check his wristwatch a couple of times.

The elevator finally arrived on the seventh floor. Jeno had to take a deep breath as he stepped out, fixing his coat for some unknown reason. If he was so impatient while he was on the elevator on his way here, now Jeno was so nervous he could hear his own heartbeat thumping inside his chest. There were nurses and visitors going on with their days as he walked slowly, making a turn to the right and arriving at Rm. 701. His heartbeat quickened. By now, he was just a couple of rooms away. There was a room with widely opened door at the now empty hallway. It was the only room that was opened. As Jeno walked more discreetly and carefully like a thief in the night, he realized that the opened room was, coincidentally, Rm. 705.

He halted his movement by the time he was only a step away from the door. He took another deep breath, slowly peeking inside the room.

There Jaemin was, sitting in a chair with his left side profile facing the door, staring blankly at a man who had different sorts of wire attached to him that Jeno couldn't fathom. The man also had a monitor for his heartbeat.

Jeno felt his stomach flip inside.

As he stared at the man sleeping soundly on his bed, Jeno felt that the man looked awfully familiar and similar to Jaemin, like he had seen him before. He couldn't pinpoint where he had seen him, however.

He tried to remember who the man was. He was sure he had seen him before. And then it all dawned on Jeno, remembering the night he and Jaemin shared.

_When Jaemin came back, Jeno was still rooted from his tracks. This time, however, the latter was staring at the family picture sitting on a wooden table across him. Jeno was frowning intensely, which didn't make any sense for Jaemin, throwing daggers at the happy and radiant smile the Na family was exporting._

It couldn't be…

Not believing he was seeing, Jeno retreated a few steps back, staggering on his feet when he bumped into someone.

"...Are you a classmate of Jaemin?"

Jeno snapped his head to the direction of the source of the voice. It was the woman in the family picture he saw when he went over at the Na residence.

Mrs. Na. There was no mistaking it. Her voice sounded like Jaemin's.

"Are you waiting for him to go to school together?" Mrs. Na asked in wonder, not noticing that he was frozen in his tacks. "Wait here. I'll get him."

"No!" Jeno suddenly blurted out loudly, gaining the attention of the passersby. "We don't know each other."

"Huh...?"

"I was just peeking inside because I thought the nurse that was assigned to my mother was inside the room," Jeno lied smoothly. "I don't know who Jaemin is. Sorry for the inconvenience!"

Before Mrs. Na could even reply, Jeno sprinted as fast as he could, taking the stairs instead of the elevator in panic. He ran and ran and ran, until he was gasping for air, crouching down a little bit as he put his hand on his chest, the night he shared with Jaemin coming back.

_"U-Um, I forgot to tell you," Jaemin had muttered barely audible, rubbing the side of his neck, "m-my parents aren't home and they won't be until tomorrow night. So, it's just me here. Sorry for not telling you earlier."_

Jaemin couldn't have possibly lied...could he?

-

With a bottle of wine sitting on the small, wooden table as his only company, Jaehyun sat in the living room of their home in complete silence. He’d become so restless ever since his husband left. At times, he had wished that these were all nothing but a nightmare he needed to wake up from. But as he woke up alone in bed every single time, reality always came crashing down, shattering the ounce of hope he had.

Jaehyun had tried reaching his husband mobile phone more than he could even count, but the other line was always unavailable. Sometimes, he would fish out his phone out of his pocket just to send Taeyong a message, asking if the latter had eaten. By the time the message had been sent, that was the time Jaehyun would realize that there was a possibility that his husband would never even reply to him.

One of Jaehyun’s hobbies is not deleting his and Taeyong’s conversation, even when they were going through a rough time. He likes going back to it every single time they fight just to reminisce their exchange messages when they weren’t fighting. Their phone conversation is a constant reminder of what they used to have.

He scrolled through the endless conversation, his eyes softening at the cute texts Taeyong used to send him every time the latter would act up. His eyes then landed on the divorced papers on the table, seemingly staring at him and reminding of all the things he shouldn’t have done as if mocking him.

A scream—sometimes, Jaehyun wanted to scream to see if it would suffice all the pain he was feeling. Then he would think how unfair he was being. This was probably nothing compared to what Taeyong felt when the latter found out that he was screwing some girl behind his back. To make everything worse, it was with an ex he hadn’t had a closure with, and it lasted for months.

Had Taeyong known the affair way, _way_ before he found out about the divorce papers and that specific fight in which Taeyong proposed for them to get divorced?

Jaehyun could only hope he was wrong, not because he didn’t want Taeyong to know that he’d been cheating for months, but because he couldn’t bear the fact that Taeyong stayed, even at his worst. He couldn’t even imagine what his husband must have been feeling if the latter actually knew way earlier.

As he was about to reach his martini glass, the front door opened and shut loudly. Confused about who might the intruder be since Mark and Jeno went to school, Jaehyun looked up and met by a furious pair of eyes.

“What the hell did you do this time, Jung Yoonoh?”

The voice was sharp and had an edge to it, as if trying to reprimand him. Because of the lack of sleep and the alcohol taking over him, Jaehyun’s vision was blurry. He had to squint his eyes just to be able to see who it was. The woman was standing a hundred and sixty-five centimeters in height, sporting a fiery gaze that could’ve melted him on the spot, clad in an elegant black dress and a coat tossed nonchalantly over her shoulders. She had a light brown medium-length hair that was cascading past her prominent shoulders.

Krystal Jung.

Krystal Jung is one of Jaehyun’s older siblings who had settled in the US after studying there. She managed to finish a degree in Banking in Finance and worked at a bank located in California. 

“N-Noona?” Jaehyun whispered, his eyes widening at the sight of her sister standing inside his house like she was about to kill him. “W-What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” Krystal asked in mockery, her clutch on the small purse that Jaehyun didn’t even notice initially hardened. “The real question here is what did you do!”

Feeling small and scared under the intense cat-like glare, Jaehyun cowered in fear. “H-How did you…?”

“Mark told me,” she replied, calming herself down, “God, Jaehyun—how could you?”

Jaehyun looked down in shame, regret, and guilt. There was no excuse for what he did. He was simply being an asshole, just simply being inconsiderate and selfish. He didn’t take into consideration his husband and his sons’ feeling. Pride and ego got the best of him, and now he wasn’t even sure if there was a chance to mend all the things he broke. Was there even anything to fix?

“I know, Noona,” he weakly responded, his eyes moistening. A breath intake—it was all what it took for him to break down yet again. “I-I know...”

Feeling sorry for his brother, Krystal immediately went to him, caressing his similar brown hair as he got himself cradled by his older sister whom he hadn’t seen in years.

“Noo-Noona, I-I don’t k-know w-what to d-do,” Jaehyun said in between sobs. “M-My husband l-left m-me, and my kids a-are mad at me. W-What do I do to f-fix all these mess I created?”

Pulling herself from him, Krystal took Jaehyun’s face in her hands, making sure that she was in the same line of vision as his. “Listen, Yoonoh. We will try to find Taeyong, okay?”

“B-But what if we never—”

Krystal hushed him. “We will. Don’t think otherwise. As for Jeno and Mark, I’m sure they are hurt and upset, but I know they are both smart. I’m sure that they will understand soon. For now, I will help you to find your husband okay?”

-

Ever since Jeno saw Jaemin at the hospital last week, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of regret and shame. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that despite what was going through Jaemin’s life, the latter remained composed and unfaltering, something Jeno could only wish he had done. Sunwoo told him the rest of the details when he got to school that day.

Contrary to what Jaemin had told him that night, his parents are actually almost never home. He found out that Sunwoo’s father and Jaemin’s father are friends, and that Mr. Na was caught up in a vehicular accident. It was so bad that Jaemin’s father hadn’t even woken up yet from the coma. There was even a possibility that Mr. Na wouldn’t even wake up.

For the rest of the week, Jeno was haunted by the guilt that seemed to never leave his side. Everywhere he went, he would be reminded of Na Jaemin.

Na Jaemin.

Na Jaemin. Na Jaemin. Na Jaemin.

He would always be reminded of Na Jaemin—the Na Jaemin that would wake up two hours before the school starts just to be able to get ready and visit his father who’s in a coma. The Na Jaemin who would always try to smile to everyone despite the struggles he is going through. The Na Jaemin who saw the best in him and help him to forget all his problems. The Na Jaemin he used and slept with for the sake of him getting rid of all the negative things occupying his mind. The Na Jaemin he humiliated in front of the school’s student body. The Na Jaemin who just wanted to be loved by the loveless Lee Jeno.

Only now had he realized that Na Jaemin had become an integral part of his system. He had become dependent on him when he was at the highest peak of his pain. Only now he realized how important Na Jaemin had become to him.

Jeno shook his head. It wasn’t the time for him to be in a trance. He turned on his heel, proceeding to walk through the hallway to get to his class but stopped suddenly when he spotted a mop of light brown hair he had known all too well. For a split second, he didn’t know what to do. Should he approach him? Should he talk to him? Should he apologize?

Frankly, he didn’t even know why he stopped from walking. He didn’t even understand why he was suddenly having the urge to walk up to the boy and talk to him.

Jaemin was preoccupied by something inside his bag, trying to get it out. He then found what he was looking for and got it out, mindlessly closing the zipper and hanging the bag on his shoulder.

Jeno was still a couple of steps, but he seemed to have gotten lost at the sight of the boy. His mouth was hanging open, unable to form any kind of word. And then it happened.

They bumped into each other, causing for Jaemin to drop the papers he’d gotten out from his bag. Instinctively, the both of them crouched down, gathering the sheets that flew out of their way. Jaemin noticed the presence of the guy who gave him his papers. Wanting to thank the strangers, he tried to offer him a genuine smile, but he suddenly stopped once he realized who had helped him and he had bumped into.

Lee Jeno.

One of the things that Jeno should’ve seen coming was the frightened expression of the boy before him. He should’ve seen the look of shock coming. But whatever it was he wasn’t expecting was an apology—an apology from the guy he shamelessly humiliated.

“S-Sorry, Lee Jeno!” the boy shouted in fear, bowing almost his entire half body. “I-I didn’t see you there. Sorry, I wasn’t looking my way.”

Jeno just stared in surprise. Why was Na Jaemin apologizing? The latter didn’t even do anything wrong. But as Jeno was about to say his apology, Na Jaemin had runaway. He could only stare at the back of Na Jaemin’s retreating figure.

_Why are you making me crazy, Na Jaemin?_

-

It was a Saturday when Jeno, together with Kim Sunwoo and Kim Woojin, decided to take a rest after giving out flyers in the streets of his missing father. Fortunately, the weather was cooperating with them. The sky was very bluish with no possibility of rain due to the lack of clouds in the sky of Seoul.

“Aren’t you guys hungry?” Woojin asked, playing with the hem of shirt in able for the air to travel through his body. There were trickles of sweat running down his temples. “Sorry but I’m really, really hungry. I don’t think I’d be able to even stand for a couple more hours.”

“We’re hungry, but there’s no time in slacking. Every second counts, okay?” Sunwoo countered. “What if a passerby who had coincidentally seen Uncle Taeyong passed by us when we’re eating?”

“Cut it out,” Jeno said, trying to catch his breath. “Let’s have lunch for now. That way, we can save more energy, which means we’d be able to go more for several hours. You two can have dinner at my house.”

“Woah?!” Sunwoo reacted. “Really?!”

“Damn,” Woojin said, “we haven’t gone to your house in, like, forever.”

“Don’t be overdramatic.” Jeno rolled his eyes. “What are you guys up for right now?”

“I really want some Gangnam-style chicken right now.”

“I just want some shin ramyeon to be honest.”

“Just order whatever you guys want,” Jeno said, waving off his hand in the air. “It’s all on me. It’s my way of thanking you guys for helping me.”

“Are you okay?” Sunwoo asked, not believing what was coming out of Jeno’s mouth. He tried to put the back of his hand on the latter’s forehead. “You’re not sick?”

“Shut up,” Jeno said, hitting his friend’s hand before it could even touch him. “Let’s get going or I’m going to take everything I said.”

“Chill, man,” Sunwoo said, rubbing his hand that was hit by Jeno. “Jeez.”

“Where do you wanna eat?”

“I know this really cool restaurant near the public library. Their chicken wings and ramyeon are amazing, but they’re kinda pricey so...”

“Don’t think about the price. I told you, it’s on me.”

“Okay, I’ll be really serious. Don’t take what I’m about to say, alright?” Woojin spoke in a serious tone, to which Jeno nodded solemnly. “I feel like Na Jaemin has been rubbing off on you...”

Taken aback by what his friend said, Jeno immediately tried to deny it but was rudely cut off. “That’s impo—”

“Before you berate me, I just...” Woojin ran his hand through his hair. “I feel like you’re becoming kinder these days… I mean, you probably don’t notice it, but we do. The only time you lost your cool again after that incident with Jaemin was when those two girls in our class were talking about Uncle Taeyong...”

Jeno stood in silence. “It’s not because of him. When Papa left, I realized I didn’t value our time together more than I should have. So, I’m treating you and making memories with you guys as much as I can. Who knows, the two of you might die tomorrow.”

“What the fuck?” Sunwoo exclaimed. “You could’ve just stopped on the second sentence, but no, you have to ruin our moment!”

Woojin just chuckled to himself. “I’m glad that you are able to make a joke out of your situation right now despite what you’re actually feeling. I hope we find Uncle Taeyong soon.”

The three of them walked side by side, still giving out flyers to the people they pass by as they made their way to the restaurant. His mind was echoing through his head what Woojin had told him the whole time, though. Is he really becoming soft without himself knowing? Is it really because of Na Jaemin? He knows that his father leaving is a factor, but is Na Jaemin a part of it? He doesn’t know.

They arrived at a fairly handsome restaurant. It wasn’t that crowded. A lot of tables were unoccupied, giving the place a sense of calm and serene ambiance that Jeno could really use right now. He sat in a corner as he gave his card to Woojin and Sunwoo who ordered for the three of them. The restaurant had glass walls, making everything outside visible to the eyes. For a moment, he wandered his eyes from passersby to the illegally parked cars several meters away. His eyes then landed on the very tiny ice cream parlor right across the street. It had light blue exterior with a few designs that were for kids. He was about to blast music through his earphones when something caught his eye.

Na Jaemin.

The boy had a vibrant smile on his face as he was giving a cone of ice cream to a kid. He was dressed in a white uniform with pink stripes, wearing a light blue apron over it, waving enthusiastically at a group of kids who’d bid him goodbye.

That damn smile again.

But as soon as the kids left, Jeno noticed that Jaemin’s smile disappeared in a heartbeat. And for a moment, he could see the raw him. He could see the fragility that he saw when he saw him in the hospital, completely zoned out.

“Isn’t that Na Jaemin?” Woojin asked in wonder, placing their trays on the table.

Jeno’s gaze didn’t falter.

“Where?” Sunwoo asked. “Oh, so that’s the job he got.”

“Job?”

“Yeah,” Sunwoo started, breaking his chopsticks in half. “Mom mentioned to me that Jaemin had landed a job somewhere. I just didn’t expect for him to land a job in an ice cream parlor.”

“He’s new there?” Jeno asked, shifting his eyes to Sunwoo for a split second.

“Yeah, Mom said he’s trying to help his mom pay the bills. His mom pays the bills in the hospital, while he pays the electricity and water bills.” Sunwoo sips on his noodles.

“Doesn’t his mother have a well-paying job, though?” Woojin responded, taking a bite on the chicken wings he had ordered. “And I’m sure his dad has health insurance.”

“How long do you think Mr. Na is on a coma?” Sunwoo asked, stopping from chewing. “He’s been in the hospital for months.”

What?

“To be honest, I was so angry at you, Jeno, when you did to him that thing you pulled. I didn’t want to say it, because it’s a private matter. But I was forced to. Jaemin and I aren’t exactly friends but our parents are. He’s done nothing but be nice to me,” Sunwoo said. “Maybe you should get to know him.”

And that was what exactly in Jeno’s mind.

-

“You’ve been standing there and touching the vegetables while looking somewhere else for three minutes straight, are you even gonna buy or not?” the old lady on the other side of the table in which the fruits were laying down said in irritation. She then turned to look behind, spotting a guy who was meticulously picking fruits on one of the stalls. “Are you a stalker?”

“N-No,” Jeno said defensively, waving off both of his hands, taking a small step back. He immediately got his wallet out, fishing out a few bills and shoving it to the old lady before bowing his head. “H-Here. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

It was Saturday, and Jeno just finished giving out flyers for that day. As if some sort of divine interversion, he saw Na Jaemin passing by on the other side of the street as he gave out the last flyer to a high school student. Na Jaemin was clad in a light blue shirt over a white jacket with a khaki pair of jeans and a pair of sneakers, clutching a tote bag.

As creepy as it sounds, Jeno trailed after the walking figure until the boy turned right. He immediately ran after him, stopping and hiding in a corner when Jaemin stopped at a bus stop. He stayed like that, hiding behind an establishment like a creep, pretending to stand casually every time someone passed by. Shortly after, the bust finally arrived, and Jaemin climbed in with the rest of the people who were waiting. Not wanting to be caught in the act, Jeno decided to hail a cab, hopping in before instructing the driver to follow the bus Jaemin rode.

Two stops after, Jeno saw the light brown-haired boy got off the bus, pursing his lips. He asked the driver to pull over a couple of meters away, paying the fair before getting off, too. He was almost caught when Jaemin looked in his way. Good thing he was wearing a cap and a jacket, making it easier for him to hide himself from Jaemin. When he was sure the latter was no longer looking, Jeno followed him once again like a spy agent moving stealthily to corner his prey. Minutes later, Jeno found himself in a fresh market

“Then, why are you hiding?” the old lady asked once again, snapping him out from his own reverie. She shifted her body, turning to look at Jaemin momentarily before setting her eyes on Jeno one more time. “Hmm, I believe you. You don’t really look like a stalker. I mean, you’re such a handsome boy. Do you, perhaps, like him?”

“W-What?” This time, Jeno was taken aback. “I-I don’t...”

When Jeno decided to get to know Jaemin, he didn’t mean it to be like this, this way. He had planned on actually walking up to him, but every time he saw the boy, he would remember what happened between them. Jeno figured he couldn’t just approach Jaemin like nothing happened. The boy deserved an apology, and Jeno wanted to say it. The thing is, he didn’t know where to start. Should he just come up to Jaemin out of nowhere and ask for forgiveness? Should he explain why he had the urge to snap at him? Should he talk to him casually like nothing ever happened that tainted the kind of relationship he destroyed before it even started?

Jeno ended up like a stalker.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” the old lady said, eyeing Jeno knowingly. “You know, it’s alright for kids like you to like someone secretly. Everyone went through that stage at some point. I mean, the boy you’ve been staring at is a handsome, young man.”

With reddened cheeks, Jeno gaped at the old lady.

“My husband and I were just like you and that boy back then. He had a secret crush on me, and I was completely oblivious about it,” the old lady recounted, chuckling to herself. “It’s okay to look at him from afar, but don’t wait for too long. He might find someone else if you keep beating around the bush.”

He was pretty sure he didn’t like Jaemin before. Now, however, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He would always see Jaemin’s face everywhere although the latter isn’t even present. The boy’s face would even appear in his dreams. Most of the time he’s zoned out, it’s always Jaemin in his mind. When he’s in the library and sees someone seemingly watching him, he would get worked up trying to see if it’s Jaemin.

It’s Jaemin. Jaemin. Jaemin.

Aren’t those signs of being in love with someone? Perhaps, those are. And Jeno is finally acknowledging that.

But how? How does he start over?

“Oh, he’s leaving,” the old lady said, bringing Jeno back to reality. “Go!”

Jeno bowed respectfully to the old lady, breaking into a genuine smile. Before Jaemin could even disappear from his sight, Jeno ran after him, keeping a good distance in between them.

Once they were out in the open area, Jeno could now see that Jaemin was holding a basket full of variety of fruit wrapped in cellophane and a paper bag Jeno didn’t know what the contents were. The road they were going through, he noticed, was awfully familiar, like he had somehow been there before. It only dawned on Jeno that it was actually the road to Taeyong’s workplace when he saw the huge hospital building. His attention was so fixated on Jaemin that he even forgot the path he’d known for years.

Jaemin stepped inside the hospital, making his way to where the elevator was. Jeno was about to follow the boy when he saw Kibum.

“Jen—”

“Shhh!” Jeno swiftly moved to where Kibum was standing, blocking the latter’s mouth with his palm.

“What?” Kibum asked in confusion by the time Jeno removed his hand. “I saw Jaemin. Are you following him again?”

“No!” Jeno exclaimed defensively.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Alright!” he admitted rather aggressively. “What if I am?!”

Kibum chuckled to himself, shaking his head in amusement at the kid. “I guess it’s just fair for your love life to progress now that we’ve finally gotten a lead on your father’s whereabouts.”

“No!” And then it sank to Jeno what he just heard. “Wait. What?”

“Yeah,” Kibum smiled widely, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing it comfortingly. “Hasn’t Jaehyun told you?”

“He hasn’t...” Jeno muttered. But although his dad hadn’t told him yet, Jeno couldn’t help but to pull off one of the most genuine smiles he’d ever pulled in his entire life. There was some sort of adrenaline rush, like his blood was pumping so hard through his veins. Finally, after weeks of searching and giving out flyers, their efforts weren't in vain. There was actually a positive result. Jeno just wished that the next progress would be actually finding his papa.

“Jaehyun’s probably just thinking everything through before saying anything to you. Maybe he wants to surprise you?” the doctor offered. “Don’t be too hard on your dad, Jeno. We had the chance to talk when he came here to ask for some updates. I know his bad choice isn’t something forgivable overnight, but Jeno, he’s still your dad. I can see that he’s honestly hurt, and that he’s honestly regretting the choice he made when he decided to go behind Taeyong’s back. At least, try to be civil with him, alright?”

Jeno nodded slowly, remembering all of his outbursts from the previous weeks. Who could blame him, though? He was driven by his anger and hatred because of what his dad did to his papa. They vowed to be together for better or for worse, and yet when their marriage was worsening, Jaehyun didn’t stay. Maybe the latter did in some aspect. Still, it was a blow not only to Taeyong but also to him. And Jeno couldn’t blame his papa for not actually staying either.

“I understand...”

“Oh, there’s Jaemin.” Kibum motioned behind him, nodding his way to where Jaemin was. “That was quick visit.”

“Yeah...”

“I also have some good news about him,” the doctor said, gaining Jeno’s attention once again. “I’m sure you’ve seen his father, Mr. Na. Well, Mr. Na hasn’t woken up yet, but there were signs of him waking up soon.”

“W-What?”

“Last night, he was able to move his fingers. That’s a very good sign. He might wake up soon.”

For once, Jeno felt like everything was actually falling into their rightful places. The joy he was feeling was not comparable he’d felt anything before. He was glad that despite causing a ruckus in Jaemin’s life, there was still a little ray of hope for the latter.

He bid his goodbye to Kibum, proceeding to follow Jaemin again. He noticed that the boy was no longer carrying anything aside from the stacks of papers in his hands. Jaemin was clutching onto it tightly, like the latter’s life depended on it.

Running to a corner where nobody could see him, Jeno watched Jaemin closely.

Jaemin stood in the middle of the sidewalk and started giving out the papers he was holding dearly onto, which made Jeno’s brows scrunched in confusion.

What was Jaemin doing?

Jeno, fueled by curiosity, stopped a young school girl who was given a paper Jaemin was giving out in her tracks. “Hey, can I take a look at that?”

Without any hesitation, the girl nodded innocently, handing Jeno the piece of paper.

To Jeno’s surprise, the picture of the person he’d been looking for appeared before him. And the paper he was holding had the same layout and information as the flyer he’d been giving out to people for weeks in search of Lee Taeyong, his father who ran away.

-

Inside the classroom of Class 12-A, the homeroom and social studies teacher, Mr. Kim, had just finished his class. Lee Jeno started packing his things, as well as his classmates and his teacher, to go to the library. He was about to step outside with his friends when he was suddenly called by Mr. Kim who was bidding his goodbye to his classmates.

Motioning for his friends Kim Sunwoo and Kim Woojin to go first, Jeno walked up to his teacher, clutching the strap of his bag.

“Mr.Kim.” Jeno bowed his head, greeting the man before him, still sitting on the teacher’s seat of the classroom.

“Jeno,” the man started. “I’m glad that you’re doing well now than in the past several weeks. Although there’s still a huge possibility of you falling on the second or third place in the entire batch, I’m glad that you’re able to get back on track. Who knows, you could’ve disappeared in the honor roll.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“Also, I want to apologize for being insensitive the last time we talked. I-I didn’t know you were going through something like that. Had I known, I would’ve been more careful. No, scratch that. I should’ve been more careful. I’m a social studies teacher for goodness’ sake.” Mr. Kim looked down, avoiding Jeno’s gaze.

“I’m not going to lie, it’s not okay, Mr. Kim,” Jeno stated. “But I accept your apology. I’m sorry, too, for being disrespectful. I know you were only worried about me. I shouldn’t have gone off to you like that.”

“I accept your apology, too.” Mr. Kim smiled wholeheartedly, rising from his seat before putting his hand over Jeno’s shoulder, patting it comfortingly. “I hope you find your father. I will also ask around if they’d seen Taeyong.”

Not knowing what to do, Jeno just nodded.

“I’m gonna go ahead now. Good luck on your Suneung exam, all right?”

“Thank you, Sir.” Jeno bowed once again, bidding his goodbye to his teacher.

Suneung, or College Scholastic Ability Test, is in a month, and Jeno has been trying to balance his studies, search for his father, and following Jaemin around. So far, he is doing a great job doing those things all at once. While in school, he would try his best not to get distracted by anything, not even Jaemin. Well, he sometimes fails when it already involves Jaemin but he tries not to. He also still gives out flyers of his father in the streets. The lead that they found the last time led them nowhere. But he’s still thankful, because there are people from his school who are extending their hand to help him now, not only just Sunwoo and Woojin.

Stalking Jaemin is a different kind of story. Even though he could say that he’s doing good in balancing all those three altogether, he could say that following Jaemin around is the hardest, since the latter is always at school nowadays because of the upcoming Suneung exam. Jeno found it hard due to Jaemin’s friends always hanging around, especially that Choi Jongho.

He isn’t blind. His guts tell him that Jongho feels so much more than just a friend for Jaemin. When he said all those hurtful words to Jaemin that day, Jongho was the one to react aggressively. It’s a sign. Moreover, when Jaemin used to come up to him, there was always some sort of distaste in Jongho’s expression. And if he doesn’t make a move soon than later, he’s afraid that Jongho might just steal Jaemin away from him.

With both of his hands on his pocket, Jeno trudged the empty hallway, heading to the building’s main library. He made a few turns, and a couple of minutes later, he found himself standing in front of the library. As soon as he stepped inside, he registered his name and immediately saw his friends sitting at the table, occupied by the cluster of books and papers in front of them.

Jeno was about to head to his friends’ table when he noticed a familiar light brown-haired boy sitting by himself, engaged in his own little world as he counted using his fingers. His walk slowed down, giving a little more time to peruse the boy. By the time he reached his friends’ table, his gaze still hadn’t left the boy.

“Dude, you’re always ogling at him,” Woojin commented before writing something down on his notebook. “Seriously, when are you gonna approach him?”

“Shut up.” Jeno glared at Woojin who just chuckled in response. He then removed his backpack from his shoulders, getting out his reviewers. “I don’t have time right now. I just want Suneung to be over and get into a great university.”

“I feel like you’re going to be qualified in a great university even when you take the exam while sleeping,” Sunwoo said, pointing his pen at Jeno. “I don’t know about the guy over there, though.”

Reluctantly, Jeno’s eyes shifted from Sunwoo to the boy sitting by himself a couple of tables away, looking straight ahead, three of his fingers up in the air.

“He looks like he’s struggling,” Sunwoo commented again, proceeding to write something down on his notebook before flipping a page on his science book. “He could use a little bit of help from, I don’t know, you?”

“Why me?” Jeno looked at Jaemin momentarily again. His eyes softened at the sight of struggling boy, but his expression changed when his eyes landed on his friends who were being obviously suspicious. “He has Kim Chaewon and Huang Renjun to help him. I’m sure they’ll arrive at any second.”

“They won’t.”

“Why are you so sure?”

“Because I heard Huang Renjun’s after school classes are earlier today and Kim Chaewon is on a date with his boyfriend from Class 11-A,” Woojin explained, heaving a deep sigh before flipping another page on his book.

“...Well,” Jeno muttered hesitantly, “he has Choi Jongho...doesn’t he?”

Sunwoo snorted in his seat, trying to repress his laugh as he looked at Jeno’s face who looked grim because of Choi Jongho. “You’re right. He has Choi Jongho. What would he need you for?”

Woojin laughed. “Facts. Hey Sunwoo, have you seen them together lately?”

Sunwoo shook his head in an actorish manner. “No, why?”

“Well, I feel like Jaemin’s really becoming close with Jongho these days,” Woojin said, glancing in Jeno’s way, and then shifting his eyes back to Sunwoo, “especially since that incident between him and Jeno.”

“Aren’t they already close even before that?” Jeno interjected impassively, trying to hide his anger. “Stop talking nonsense.”

“Yeah,” Woojin continued, “but what I’m saying is they’re really becoming intimate these days. Like, they’ve become closer than ever before since he stopped following you around.”

Jeno stayed silent, clenching his jaws, his grasp on his pen visibly tightening until his knuckles and veins were showing.

“Now that you mention it,” Sunwoo started, placing his chin on top of the end of his pen as he looked up, “they actually look cute toge—”

A loud, deafening impact resounded in the library, snatching the attention of everyone inside the library. The librarian, who was stunned at the sound, just stared, mouth agape. Jeno was breathing heavily, catching it like he had just run a marathon. His friends were just as shocked as everyone else inside the room, almost scared at the outburst. They weren’t expecting Jeno to lose his cool in the library and smack the table in all his glory.

Without saying anything, Jeno stood up abruptly and grabbed his things before making his way at Jaemin’s table. The latter was gawking at him, scared and nervous. He saw the boy gulped in his seat, still staring at him.

Jeno pulled one of the seats, placing it beside Jaemin’s before throwing his bag on the side and letting go of his things on the table loudly.

All the while, Jaemin was just looking at him in confusion, wonder, and fear.

Jeno finally sat down, calming himself down to not scare the boy beside him. When he was finally sane enough, he pulled himself closer to Jaemin, invading the latter’s personal space, looking at the homework Jaemin was answering.

“You still haven’t gotten past number fifteen?” Jeno asked. This time, he looked at Jaemin who was obviously stunned. The math homework had thirty items. Realizing that, Jaemin looked down in shame and bit his bottom lip.

“Y-Yeah...”

There was that crestfallen face again. Out of all the things Jeno never wants to see, that crestfallen of Jaemin’s expression would definitely at the top. Pursing his lips, Jeno slid the notebook in between them, as well as the math textbook Jaemin had on the side.

“The reason you can’t get the right answer,” Jeno started, glancing at Jaemin, their faces only a couple of inches away from each other’s, “is because you’re using the wrong formula.”

For that split second, Jeno was bewitched by Jaemin’s eyes, lips, and face. It was the first time he had seen that face up close since...that night. Jaemin’s face was angelic, like the pale winter cherry blossoms that bloom in the fall and continues to be more beautiful in the winter. And like its nearly pure white tinged color, Jaemin’s innocent and pure heart reflects it, as if he was a tree of it in his past life.

How could he have the audacity to break him before?

Jaemin finally turned his head, avoiding Jeno’s intense stare. “I-I see...”

Wordlessly, Jaemin went into solving the problems on his own.

-

Almost an hour of _strictly_ tutoring Jaemin on how to do his own homework later, Jeno took a deep breath as Jaemin answered the last item correctly.

Jeno started gathering his things that were scattered on the table, picking them up one by one and putting then inside his bag. He couldn’t look at the boy beside him. Of all the ways he could’ve approached Jaemin, why did it have to be like that? It was his friends’ fault for pushing him to his limit. They must’ve known that mentioning Choi Jongho in the same sentence as Jaemin would trigger him.

It wasn’t supposed to go like that.

Everything doesn’t always go according to his plans. He’s always doing the things that his mind tells otherwise. So, Jeno plans on going with the flow. Whatever happens, he’ll let fate work on its own.

“A-Are you...” he started reluctantly staring ahead, his heart pounding like it was about to get out of his chest. “Are you studying for Suneung?”

Slowly, Jaemin nodded with a hum, not daring to look at the raven-haired guy beside him.

“Don’t you have cram school?”

“I-I don’t...”

“Then,” Jeno said, swallowing his spit that built up on the back of his throat, “let’s meet every after class. I will… I will tutor you for free.”

“Huh?”

“I will tutor you for the upcoming Suneung,” Jeno stated firmly. “It’s free.”

“But why?” Jaemin asked in wonder. There was something in his voice that almost made Jeno’s heart sink to its lowest level, but the latter tried to brush it off.

“Just because.”

“No,” Jaemin replied, pursing his lips, causing Jeno to whip his heat at him.

“What?”

“I-I said no...”

It was very noticeable that Jaemin was trying to be tough. The scrunch of his brows, his hardening hold on his pen, and the air that ballooned his cheeks gave it away. Jeno could laugh in that moment, only if the reason for such action wasn’t caused by him humiliating the boy in public. It was human nature for Jaemin to protect himself and build his walls up.

“Do you want to fail Suneung?” This time, Jeno stared at him intently, not removing his gaze at the boy before him although he was making Jaemin uncomfortable.

“No.”

“Then, I’m going to tutor you,” he said in finality. Although this might not be the best way of getting Jaemin to spend time with him, he grabbed the opportunity because he knew that it might take him too long to man up once this opportunity slip.

“Are you saying that I will do bad if you don’t tutor me?” Jaemin asked, looking back at him. There was that painful stab on Jeno’s heart again. And before he could even reply, Jaemin continued, “Do you- Do you enjoy toying with me?”

Jeno panicked in his seat, not knowing what to do. He could see the building tears in the eyes of Jaemin, threatening to fall at any moment. The boy was looking down, like the latter did before, but this time, there were actual tears right away, and Jeno almost touched the boy. That was the first time he saw him cry that instant. There was no sound, there was no sniffling or anything along those lines. The only thing present was that familiar crestfallen face that seemed to ask, _what did I ever do wrong?_

Like a bubble disappearing into thin air, Jaemin grabbed his belongings, dashing through the doors of the library in the blink of an eye. By the time Jeno could even register what was happening, Jaemin was already out the door, running away from him like Jeno did that morning after their intimate night.

Shortly after he realized what had just happened, Jeno sprinted to the direction where Jaemin had gone. He didn’t even notice that he’d left his backpack behind. His main priority in that moment was to find Jaemin and explain.

What kind of explanation? Jeno had no idea. But he wanted to talk to the boy. He wanted to clear all the misunderstandings. He just wanted to be the reason of that smile once again.

Jeno didn’t know how many minutes had passed. He even almost tripped down the stairs due to his lack of care to his surroundings. For him, the most important thing to do was find Na Jaemin. When he set foot outside the building, he saw the latter, walking leisurely across the ground; head down, shoulders visibly shaking.

As soon as he saw Jaemin, he ran up to him. When he reached the boy a couple of meters away, though, the sound he’d been dreading to hear finally resounded. His eyes softened, taking small steps as he tried to touch Jaemin but stopped midway. As if noticing his presence, the latter abruptly stopped from taking any steps further. Slowly, Jeno retreated his hand.

They were now back at the school ground, standing like they did at that time. The difference was it was Jeno who were chasing after Jaemin.

And Jaemin couldn’t help but relieve all the words that were thrown to him, like he was disposable that was ready to be tossed into a trashcan after being used.

“J-Jaemin,” Jeno called, his voice shaking as if it were a branch of tree being swayed by the breeze. It was soft, almost defeated, but Jaemin didn’t dare face him in fear of giving in. “C-Can we talk?”

Jaemin stayed still, his hot tears flowing like an open faucet that was forgotten to be turned off. Some of it have cascaded down his uniform, staining it. He couldn’t speak; afraid that his words might betray him. So, he turned around.

What Jeno had noticed from the beginning was that Jaemin, regardless of circumstance, was always avoiding his gaze. It was annoying, he wasn’t going to lie. Who follows people around and then try to not look at them once you get their attention? Jaemin, however, doesn’t falter to look at people straight in the eyes when he’s hurt.

Jeno realized that Jaemin is always smiling, always happy that when you hurt him and he looks at you, it’s like he’s saying that _you did this._ The sadness in his eyes is so unusual and uncommon that it’s easy to spot once it shows.

“F-First of all, I-I want to say sorry for everything that I did to you… W-What I said to you that day,” Jeno started, heaving a deep breath and swallowing his pride before continuing, “I didn’t mean any of those words.”

Mustering all his courage, Jaemin said in between hiccups, “Y-You d-don’t have t-to explain. I-I don’t w-want t-to look even m-more pathetic. ”

“Please,” Jeno pleaded, his emotions taking over him, “just… just listen to me...”

In the end, Jeno’s own mind, emotion, and voice betrayed him. He could no longer keep up the facade that everything Jaemin was doing wasn’t affecting him. At some point, he had to admit it. And although he wasn’t sure that this was the right time, he could no longer care. He didn’t want to end up like his father who was eaten by regret because he took the love of his life for granted.

Jaemin nodded wordlessly.

“When you started following me around,” Jeno started, “I was already having family problems. My parents were constantly fighting. That’s why I stayed in the library every after class. I will admit, you annoyed me so much, not because you were always trailing after me, but because you always looked so...happy.”

A breeze flew past them.

“You were so innocent and gullible. You always looked so happy that it pissed me off, because I knew, deep down, I wished I had that happiness...but I didn’t. When you finally approached me and gave me that lunch box you made, I wanted to turn you down...but I had an internal battle. I had the urge to accept it. And so, I did.”

“Jaemin?”

It was Choi Jongho. He was about to run up to Jaemin but was stopped by Huang Renjun. Both of them continued staring at Jeno and Jaemin by the sidelines. They weren’t seen by the two.

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping with you that night… But because of stress about the knowledge of my parents having a divorce, I needed to feel something to make it go away. And then, there was you,” Jeno continued. “You’re so beautiful that I wasn’t able to stop myself. The next morning, I left, denying to myself that I was feeling something for you. I mean, look at you… You have the most beautiful soul I had ever laid my eyes upon. And then there’s me, a complete fucked up.”

“T-That’s not true...”

“It is,” Jeno chuckled humorlessly. “You weren’t around for a week in school, and I waited for you… The night before the day you were supposed to confess to me, I just found out that one of my fathers left us. I was at my lowest. And then that day, Mr. Kim told me that I was flunking in academics. It was like things were piling up, and I didn’t know how to release the stress...”

“So, you released it on me?” Jaemin asked, begging for answers. By now, he was already shaking and his knees were wobbling. “It’s not fair… ”

“I know...” Jeno looked up, trying to stop the tears that kept on pouring down his face. And then looked at Jaemin again. “I also know that all these explanations won’t make anything better. I know that all these things are not valid reasons and do not justify my actions.”

Jaemin just continued crying.

“I know that because...” Jeno hesitantly said, “because you also had your own problems, but you never released the stress on me. Despite your situation, you’re always sporting the brightest smile I have ever seen. You’re still so kind and polite. That time when we accidentally bumped into each other in the hallway, you were still so respectful even when I was the one who did you wrong...”

“H-How did you…?”

“Sunwoo told me. My father used to work at the hospital where your father is confined. Please, don’t get mad at Sunwoo. He was forced to tell me…”

Jaemin nodded indifferently at the Sunwoo part.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while now, but I’m a coward. When I heard my friends talking about you and Choi Jongho being close and intimate lately, however, I just lost it. So, without thinking, I came up to you...”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Jongho,” Jaemin said in between tears, his fists clenching by his sides. “We’re just friends...”

“Still, I was afraid that you would eventually move on from me and pick him.” This time, Jeno’s gaze became intense, shimmering from the nonstop tears that continued on streaming down against his pale cheeks. “Because I’ve stopped denying that I am in love with you, Na Jaemin.”

At that, Jaemin’s heart skipped, not believing what he was hearing. And Jeno’s stare wasn’t helping even a bit. If anything, it was making him more conscious. He almost stumbled on his feet but regained his balance right away. His eyes shifted, looking at everything but Jeno. When his gaze were back on Jeno, he searched for a sign of insincerity but found none.

“W-What..?” Jaemin asked. “P-Please, don’t say such things...”

“But it’s true,” Jeno stated firmly. “I’m in love with you.”

As if there was a fireworks festival inside his stomach, Jaemin could feel fireworks exploding and sparks flying. With reddened cheeks, Jaemin turned on his back. He couldn’t take it anymore. It was like his heart was going to explode at any minute. Not knowing what to do, he proceeded on walking to the gates of the school, away from Jeno. He wanted to get away. There was no way this was real life.

Four steps—all it took was four steps before Jaemin felt something around his waist.

From behind, Jeno hugged him tighter than he’s ever held before. He froze in his tracks, feeling Jeno’s hot breath on his neck as the latter put his face on the crook of his neck.

“Jaemin,” Jeno said, his voice muffled because of the lack of space between his lips and Jaemin’s skin, “I’m in love with you.”

_I’m in love with you._

Being able to say that made Jeno feel like he’d lifted off the repressed emotions weighing on his shoulder. At last, the truth was no longer being denied and was set free. While hugging Jaemin, he realized how much he’d missed the contact. He didn’t realize that Jaemin was his home that he left when he felt like the home with his parents and his brother was thoroughly destroyed, and now, he was going home.

“And the reason why I’m insisting on tutoring you is not because I don’t believe you’d do good in the exam. I know you’d do good. I trust you. I believe in you.” Jeno explained. “I just wanted to have an excuse to be with you...maybe to confess in the future...but here I am, not minding how I’m looking like a fool just to be able to express how I feel… And also, it’s my way of saying thank you for helping me search for my papa.”

Jaemin swore he would’ve died on the spot if it weren’t for the fact that Jeno’s words were bringing him to life. Breaking free from the hold, he released Jeno’s arms around him before turning around and looking at the latter close up.

“I-I don’t know Jeno,” Jaemin muttered, avoiding Jeno’s gaze by looking down. “I-I don’t think I’m ready yet. You hurt me. I need some time.”

Despite of that, Jeno was not disheartened or discouraged. If anything, he was fired up to prove the love he felt for the other boy. Slowly, he lifted Jaemin’s chin, making the latter look at him.

“For you,” Jeno stated passionately, his eyes shining from the hope he was feeling, “I will wait.”

-

Wanting to make it up to Jaemin, Jeno decided to walk the boy home. They walked so close together that their pinkies accidentally touched each other every now and then, which made not just Jaemin blushing like crazy but also him. Jeno was so happy that he couldn’t take off his smile on his face. It was the happiest he’d ever been in a while; so happy that he almost felt bad because his father hadn’t been found, yet he was focusing on something else other than searching for Taeyong.

The moment they reached the Na residence, they stood before each other a meter or two away for several seconds, avoiding each other’s gaze. Even though he’d just confessed earlier, Jeno’s heart couldn’t stop hammering inside his chest. It was such a mystery how could Jaemin do that to his heart.

“...Bye,” Jaemin muttered, making a move to get going. As he was about to enter the front door, however, he heard Jeno called for him.

“Wait, Jaemin,” Jeno called out, taking a deep breath, “I just wanna thank you for helping me give out flyers despite of what I did to you… I haven’t properly thanked you yet, so I wanna take this chance to thank you just in case you don’t know how grateful I am...”

Without turning around, Jaemin asked, “H-How did you even know that…?”

“Would you think I’m crazy if I told you I’ve been following you around?”

This time, Jaemin faced him. “W-What?”

“After that incident at the school ground, you basically just went out of my radar. You stopped following me. I didn’t want it to affect me, but trust me, it did. I was afraid of ever approaching you, so I resorted to, I guess, stalking you?”

Silence.

“But don’t take it the wrong way, alright?” Jeno asked heartily, pursing his lips. “I… I realized too late how much I love you and how much you mean to me. But it’s better late than never, right?”

“S-Stop saying such things!” Jaemin said louder than he intended, blocking his ears with reddened cheeks.

“I could never.” Jeno chuckled at the cute sight. “For real though, I mean all the things I said earlier. I will wait for you, Jaemin, until you’re ready.”

“Okay...” Jaemin muttered. “No promises though!”

“So, what’s your answer to my free tutorial offer?”

Glaring at Jeno, Jaemin scoffed under his breath before entering the house, leaving Jeno chuckling to himself.

-

The following day, Jeno was in a good mood. The moment he sat up straight in his bed, his eyes automatically found the Jung family picture on his desk. He had placed it there a week ago, hoping that he would get back the family he used to have before. When Jeno found out Jaemin’s situation, he had a major re-evaluation of his own life. He began looking at the brighter side of everything and being optimistic. He started appreciating what he has. His loath for his Jaehyun started deteriorating since then, and also because he finally saw that his dad was just as affected as he was. If there was anyone who’s actually hurting the most, it was Jaehyun. He figured that his hatred would lead him nowhere. Instead, he focused the energy on searching for Taeyong and performing better in academics.

Pulling half a smile to avoid the negativity, Jeno trudged out of his bed, stretching his limbs before doing his morning routine. He wore his uniform, getting out of his room. He then spotted his dad, Jaehyun, looking at the mirror, wearing a suit and tying his tie. Ever since his aunt Krystal’s arrival, his dad seemed to have completely stopped wallowing in self-pity and getting drunk until morning.

Although Jeno has been fixing things in his life, he still finds it difficult to talk to his dad.

“Jeno,” Jaehyun called out casually, styling his hair in front of the mirror in the living room., “you’re up early.”

“Yeah,” Jeno said awkwardly, clutching the strap of his bag that was resting on his shoulder.

“Alright, let me fetch you.”

“Huh?” Jeno murmured in confusion. “Where are you going, anyway?”

Jaehyun stopped whatever he was doing, facing his son and smiling wistfully. “I’m going to go job-hunting...”

“Job-hunting…?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun answered, avoiding his son’s gaze. “I just—I just want to be the best version of myself ‘til we see your papa… You know, I just realized that me getting drunk every night and being jobless would just make me more undeserving. I wanna start anew, so that when we see each other again, I can proudly say that I have changed for the better...”

In spite of his father hiding his face, Jeno immediately saw the moisten eyes of Jaehyun, tears threatening to fall in just a blink. He looked down, feeling bad to have let all his anger out at his dad from the past weeks.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, trying to laugh it off. “And I want to say sorry to you, Son. I was so selfish. I didn’t think what you and your hyung would feel. It’s because of me that your papa left…”

“I wouldn’t say it’s okay because it’s not,” Jeno said, “but I accept your apology, Dad. But the person you need to apologize to the most is Papa. It broke me when I found out that you kept divorced papers and that you had another woman. I can’t even imagine how hurt Papa must have been when his husband who promised to make him the happiest person was also the same person who broke him beyond repair.”

“I-I know...” Jaehyun stuttered, his voice almost breaking. “So, promise me, Son, that when you find someone who means the world to you, never do anything that would make them think that it’s not worth it for them to stay...”

Reluctantly, Jeno stepped forward, inching closer to his dad and wrapping his arms around him. Completely taken by surprise, Jaehyun stood frozen, held by his own son. Jeno let it linger for a couple of seconds before pulling away.

Jeno pulled a genuine smile. “I promise, Dad.”

The drive to school was, surprisingly, fun. Jeno and his dad got to talk like they used to. He missed the fun of talking to his dad casually, acting like they were friends and the same age. As soon as he was dropped off, he bid his father goodbye and wished him good luck on his job-hunting. He was in such a good mood that when he entered his classroom with a smile, everyone was basically gaping at him.

“Dude, are you alright?” Sunwoo asked the moment he got in. “Did you hit yourself in the head?”

“No,” Jeno dismissed nonchalantly, tapping his fingers on his desk.

“For someone who got rejected publicly yesterday in the library, you sure look happy,” Woojin commented when he came up to them.

“Who says I got rejected?” Jeno asked ridiculously.

“Wait.” Sunwoo halted. “You mean to tell me you and Jaemin are dating now?”

“Hush.” Jeno put a finger on his lips. “Not yet, but we’re getting there.”

“Huh?”

“We got to talk after he stormed off. I explained everything to him, and I was able to confess.”

“You confessed?!” Sunwoo practically shouted, earning everyone’s attention. “I thought it would take you more time. I mean, you’re always denying how you feel about him.”

“I’m happy for you, Jeno,” Woojin said, giving him a tightlipped smile.

“Dude, I told you. We should’ve followed them. We could’ve seen Jeno embarrassing himself!”

Jeno tore a page in his notebook, crumpled it, and threw it at Sunwoo, hitting the latter on his head.

Time seemed to pass by like a breeze. All throughout his classes, Jeno remained in a good mood. It inspired him to listen more to the lectures of his teachers than before. Everybody noticed the sudden change in him. Although Jaemin didn’t look for him in between intervals of their classes, he brushed it off. He shouldn’t really be expecting Jaemin to do those things. Besides, he wants Jaemin to focus on his studies because Suneung was approaching.

By the time lunch time came, he took a peek inside Class 12-B when he was passing the classroom by just to see what Jaemin was up to. The latter was talking to one of his classmates, sporting that addicting smile that made Jeno fall head over heels for him. And Jeno couldn’t help but mirror the expression, acting like a fool, lovesick high school student that he was. He even got a bit of teasing from his friends when they saw him smiling for no particular reason.

In the cafeteria, Jeno couldn’t stop staring, and wasn’t able to hold himself back but to wave subtly and shyly at Jaemin who was sitting at another table with his friends. The latter blushed at the gesture, hiding his face behind Huang Renjun who clearly knew what was up.

After class, Jeno found himself standing in front of Jaemin’s classroom, asking the latter’s classmates of his whereabouts. Everyone in Jaemin’s class was startled by the question, considering they’ve heard the rumors of what he did to the boy.

“He’s not here,” Choi Jongho arrogantly interrupted, standing almighty. “He’s gone home.”

“I don’t believe you,” Jeno answered challengingly, not backing down. “We talked yesterday. We have plans.”

“Really?” Jongho asked smugly, chuckling humorlessly as he looked at his friends, as if to ask them if they were hearing the same bullshit. “Because as far as I know, according to what Jaemin told me, he didn’t agree to anything.”

Jongho smirked, and Jeno wished he could wipe that off with a single punch. He realized he hadn’t gotten back at him for that punch he received from Jongho, but he guessed he deserved that for breaking Jaemin’s heart. So, even though he was pissed at Jongho, he let it slide. He wasn’t going to let this prick ruin his day.

Jeno was about to walk away but stopped abruptly. “You know, your bitterness toward me because of what Jaemin and I have is so pathetic. Get rid of it. It will get you nowhere. Jaemin will never like you back.”

Finally turning on his heel, Jeno gave Jongho and his friends a menacing smile before trudging his way through the hallway, heading to the library. It was one of those days when Jeno thought he should’ve enrolled himself in a cram school. However, due to family problems, he prioritized it last.

He sat down at a table, slumping on his chair. He heaved out a deep sigh, rubbing his face with his palms before getting out his stuff from his backpack. For several minutes, he engaged himself fully to the words and the equations on his reviewer until someone across from him sat down.

“Jaemin?” He was surprised when he looked up, seeing the boy in front of him, blushing hard. “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t want me here?” Jaemin asked, his eyes narrowing.

“No!” Jeno practically shouted, which earned him a scolding from the librarian. “I mean, of course I want you here. I just… I didn’t know you would actually come considering you didn’t really accept the offer. Plus, Jongho said you’ve already gone home.”

“I told him I was just going to get a drink from the vending machine, though,” Jaemin said, tilting his head.

“Well, he doesn’t exactly like me,” Jeno remarked, flipping pages on his book nonchalantly. “Besides, he likes you…”

Noticing the dispirited expression and aura of Jeno, Jaemin rose from his seat, sitting on the one beside Jeno, inching closer. Although he pretty much looked like a tomato, Jaemin didn’t care. He didn’t want seeing Jeno like that.

“...Jongho and I are just friends…” Jaemin muttered, avoiding Jeno’s gaze and fidgeting his fingers over the table. “And I don’t like him in that way…”

“Really?” Jeno questioned for confirmation. He couldn’t help but feel insecure, since he’d broken Jaemin’s heart before. What if the latter decided that he actually wasn’t worth it? Jongho had never done anything to hurt Jaemin’s feelings.

“...Yeah,” Jaemin confirmed, “I think we both know who I really like…”

Jeno smiled wistfully. Slowly, his hand traveled on top of Jaemin’s clasped one, unclasping it and intertwining them as if they were pieces of puzzle that finally found each other.

“Thank you for giving me the second chance I don’t deserve,” Jeno sincerely said, his hold on Jaemin’s hand tightening.

-

Library became Jeno and Jaemin’s sanctuary. Every day, the former would wait inside the library at the farthest corner, away from the eyes of the other students, to tutor Jaemin for hours until they could no longer take it. After that, the two of them would be in the streets, together with their friends, to give out flyers of Jeno’s father.

Even though Jaemin has warmed up to Jeno just a little bit, he still tries not to give in easily. He knows he is still in love with the latter, but that made things complicated before. He wants to take his time and be ready before making any decision, although he could see in plain sight that Jeno is indeed sincere.

From what he’s noticed so far, Jeno has changed. What made the latter change, Jaemin has no idea. He even heard from his friends that Jeno talked and apologized to them for hurting him, something Jaemin would never even think of. Jeno is just not the type of person to simply apologize to anyone.

Sure, Jeno said sorry to him, but Jaemin thought the apology would be exclusive to him. But then again, if Jeno genuinely wants to patch up with him, Jeno would at least try to befriend his friends.

Initially, everyone in school was pretty much surprise to see them together, considering what happened between them. Some even thought that Jeno was trying to get on Jaemin’s good side to regain his reputation. Jeno was never really well-liked to begin with, but he didn’t at least have people who hated him until that incident at the school ground.

One of the qualities people don’t like about Jeno is his impatience. Growing up, he had always gotten on the spot everything he wanted, whether it’s getting those remote control cars that he used to collect as a kid, branded clothes that go over seven figures, or those guitars that he is currently has a fixation with. Even the reason why it’s always his friends who order for him is because of his impatience. He’s just not that type of person to actually wait for something, or for someone for that matter.

Jeno doesn’t like having to share something with someone else either. He has a strict personal policy of never sharing anything to anyone and vice versa, whether it’s food, clothes, or anything he’s entitled to—he never shares them.

So, when he saw Jaemin with Choi Jongho at Jaemin’s workplace one Saturday, laughing like they’re having the time of their lives, he couldn’t help but to intervene.

“So,” he started as he walked with his hands in his pocket arrogantly, gaining their attention, “this is what you’re busy with?”

It wasn’t the first thing he wanted to say, but seeing Jongho being to close with Jaemin, Jeno felt a burning, almost nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. Jaemin looked completely surprised by his presence, and Jongho just smirked at him.

“Jeno?” Jaemin asked in confusion, his eyes landing on Jeno. “What are you doing here?”

“To grab lunch with you. I’ve been texting you, but you weren’t responding,” Jeno replied, his eyes shifting to Jongho then back to Jaemin once again. “Turns out you’re indeed busy, huh?”

During one of their tutorial sessions, Jeno asked for Jaemin’s number just in case there’s some sort of emergency, but in all honesty, it was just an excuse to get the latter’s number and text him.

“Jeno, we’re—”

“What is it to you, Lee?” Jongho asked provocatively, raising one of his eyebrows. “‘Cause as far as I’m concerned, Jaemin isn’t supposed to tell you whatever he does or whoever he talks to.”

“Shut up,” Jeno snapped at Jongho, “I’m not talking to you.”

“It’s true, though.”

“Jongho, stop it,” Jaemin begged, turning his attention to Jeno. “Sorry, I don’t have my phone in me. I unintentionally left it in my locker, and I just got lazy to get it.”

“Do you wanna grab lunch together?” Jeno asked.

“About that...”

“Jaemin and I are going to grab lunch together,” Jongho said with a mischievous grin as if to mock Jeno. “You can go home now.”

“He’s not going anywhere with you,” Jeno responded solemnly.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Just get the fuck out of here,” Jeno said in finality before grabbing the hem of Jongho’s shirt and swinging at him, hitting the boy straight in the face.

Jongho stumbled on his feet, feeling dizzy for a couple of seconds, before trying to punch Jeno back but missing. It only took a matter of a split second until it broke into a full fist-fight. Jaemin, on the other hand, immediately left his spot, went outside, and tried to stop the two, but to no avail, he was left with nothing to do.

Fortunately, Mark, who Jaemin recognized as Jeno’s brother, was coincidentally in the same street where they are and stopped the fight. He was able to pull Jeno from one side, while Jaemin was able to cage Jongho from behind, which angered Jeno even more.

“Who do you think you are, huh?!” Jongho shouted at the top of his lungs, snatching the attention of the passersby. “You’re not Jaemin’s boyfriend! Stop acting like you own him!”

“What about you, huh?!” Jeno screamed back challengingly. “You’re nothing! You will forever just be Jaemin’s friend!”

“Stop it!” Jaemin finally snapped, getting in between the two. “Jongho, you shouldn’t have fought back! Jeno, you shouldn’t have punched him!”

Jeno and Jongho were both breathing heavily, fury still visible in the way their gaze cut like knives.

“He started it first.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeno asked smugly, spitting on the side. “Serves you right for not staying on your lane.”

“Jeno, stop it, please,” Jaemin begged. “I’ve tried to tell you! We’re going to grab lunch, and he’s going to help me with my project. Jongho and I had plans today. Our plan together is on Sunday.”

“Why would you ask him for help when you could just ask me?” This time, Jeno was already raising his voice at Jaemin, as well. “You know damn well how I feel about him being always with you!”

“Jeno, you’re being irrational.”

“The hell I am!”

“Listen,” Jaemin muttered, taking a deep breath before staring Jeno right in his eyes, “Jongho is my friend. You can’t just ask me to stop hanging out with him.”

“I never said that.”

“But that’s basically what you’re implying!” Jaemin said in frustration, grabbing a fistful of his own hair. “There’s nothing between you and I, so I don’t get why you’re so worked up with Jongho and I hanging out!”

At that statement, Jeno’s breath hitched. He had to blink his eyes multiple times to see if what just happened really happened. His older brother’s grasp on him loosened as he stumbled back, feeling betrayed by Jaemin’s words.

“Then…” Jeno started, trying to find his words, “do those study dates and the other things we did together meant nothing to you?”

As much as Jaemin wanted to respond that no, of course those things meant to him more than Jeno will ever know, he couldn’t bring himself to actually talk. For some reason, his mind and lips failed him from saying the things he wanted to verbalize, so he stood guiltily, not moving from his tracks.

Nodding in defeat, Jeno inhaled deeply. “Please—Please, don’t starve yourself. Eat well with him… Sorry for readings things wrong. I—I’ll go now…”

Out of nowhere, the manager of the ice cream parlor went out and asked, “What’s happening here?”

Completely devoid of emotion, Jeno leisurely turned on his back and walked lifelessly as Mark trailed after him. There was a threatening sob that wanted to come out of his mouth. He knew he shouldn’t have acted like a possessive boyfriend for various reasons. For starters, he isn’t exactly Jaemin’s boyfriend. And two, Choi Jongho is Jaemin’s friend. Stopping the latter from hanging out with a friend was an asshole move, he knew it. But then, that friend is in love with Jaemin. It’s perfectly reasonable for him to be paranoid, right?

Jaemin’s gaze lingered on the back of the retreating figure, walking away from the scene. He wanted to call out, maybe hug the guy from behind. It wasn’t his intention to hurt Jeno like that, but he couldn’t also drop Jongho since they have plans. Jongho was there with him when he needed him most, when he was dumped by Jeno.

“Let’s go?” Jongho asked after half a minute or so.

“Sorry, Jongho,” Jaemin uttered, his eyes not leaving Jeno, “I think I need to be alone for now.”

-

When Sunday came, several hours before Jaemin and Jeno’s plan, the latter received a message from the former. Jeno, at the time, was out in the streets with his friends and his older brother, giving out flyers to random people passing by.

Heaving a deep sigh as he fished out his phone from his pocket and saw from whom the message was, Jeno hastily pocketed his phone, continuing his errand and completely ignoring Jaemin. It took him by surprise when his older brother said something out of nowhere.

“Are you not going to answer him or something?” Mark muttered without looking at Jeno, giving out flyers to passersby and smiling at them. “He’s probably waiting for your reply.”

Ignoring his brother, Jeno continued to do what he was doing but distracted by the thought of Jaemin actually waiting for his reply. Not even several seconds later, he heard Mark talk again, as if convincing him.

“It wasn’t entirely his fault, you know?” Mark commented, glancing at his brother’s way to see a reaction from him. “We’ve talked about it, Jeno. You should be considerate of other people’s feelings. You should be able to keep your emotions under control. You can’t stop Jaemin from hanging out with his friends.”

It was true. He and Mark talked about it as soon as they came home that day after the fight between him and Jongho. Jeno confided on his older brother about his and Jaemin’s disposition, from when it all started to where they currently are.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t really want to talk to him right now, because I get really explosive sometimes, okay?” Jeno finally responded much to his annoyance at his brother’s right input. “The last thing I want to do is hurt him...again. I just need my own time for now. When I promised that I will wait for him, I meant it in every sense of the word.”

“Then,” Mark argued, “at least cancel on him for today and don’t keep him waiting.”

In the middle of the sidewalk, Jeno halted from his tracks as the blue sky of Seoul shone over him. The street was pretty busy. Vehicles were constantly honking and driving away, but for Jeno, everything stopped as he visualized Jaemin, sitting in his room and staring at his phone, waiting for a reply from him.

And then all the memories with Jaemin’s hopeful eyes, contagious smile, and crestfallen expression in them flashed before his eyes. Jeno sighed for the umpteenth time, slowly getting his phone from his pocket and staring momentarily at the message he received from Jaemin.

_Hi, are we still going to see that movie?_

It was the only message Jeno got from the boy since that fight. He missed Jaemin so bad that he had to scroll up in order to see Jaemin’s texts to him. Although those messages weren’t really sweet, because he understands that Jaemin is just being extra cautious given what happened between them, they gave out different vibe than the last text he received. The prior messages, if Jeno were to describe them, were contentment, enough.

The last one, however, was empty. It had a tiny ray of hope, but other than that, nothing. It was desolate, and Jeno wanted to block the voice creeping in coming from the back of his head, suggesting that it might be the start of the end between them. That maybe, it was just a matter of time before it all burns into ashes.

What was he supposed to do? Only had he not let his emotions get the best of him, would everything have turned out different? Only had he not let his feelings explode like an atomic bomb, would they still be in their own pace, slowly taking their time to get each other, right now?

The lone text seemed to echo in Jeno’s mind. It looked like Jaemin was just forcing himself to not hurt Jeno. Of course, Jeno should’ve known. Jaemin was just downplaying it. The latter doesn’t hurt people even if they hurt him deliberately Maybe… Just maybe, Jaemin no longer wants to be associated with him.

And so, to not complicate things anymore, Jeno said, _I won’t be able to meet you today. Sorry._

Jeno felt guilty. At the end of the day, he was the one to ask Jaemin if the latter would be okay with them seeing a movie together. And then all the guilt went away when the thought of Jaemin just being a decent person not to hurt him crossed his mind.

_Do we still have tutorial sessions?_

At that, Jeno wistfully smiled. He really admires how considerate Jaemin is. He’d hurt the latter before, and yet Jaemin was still considerate of his feelings.

 _Only if you want,_ Jeno texted back in finality, getting back to what he was doing in the first place.

-

By the time Monday rolled around, it was like a whirlwind that passed by in an instant. Jeno was dreading for the last bell to ring...until it dit. He even slumped his face on his desk defeatedly, because he was afraid it Jaemin was actually even going to show up for their tutorial session after that fight between him and Choi Jongho. Jaemin hadn’t replied to his last message, and he was afraid of Jaemin actually not showing up.

It was one of those rare times Lee Jeno was nervous. Normally, it’s the other party who’s nervous in meeting him. Today, however, was different. Well, he could argue that Jaemin is not normal to begin with.

Jaemin is like a catalyst from every person he’s ever known with his bright smile that can probably light up the whole city, his innocent and pure heart that everyone would love to keep, and just his genuineness as an entire being.

No longer being able to mask his nervousness, Jeno headed to the comfort room to take a leak and then wash his face. To his dismay, though, Choi Jongho walked in and felt his presence.

“You know what,” Choi Jongho started out of nowhere to nobody in particular as he washed his hands in the sink, “I don’t really get what Jaemin saw in you for him to be head over heels for you.”

Jeno stopped at that. Just a single statement from Choi Jongho, and he could already feel himself reaching his boiling point Without looking behind, he was about to go out of the comfort room when he heard Jongho again.

“He didn’t go with me that day.”

Faster than the speed of sound, Jeno whipped his head at Jongho in confusion. “What?”

Jongho just chuckled. “I knew how much he loves you, but I didn’t want to give up on him just yet. That’s why I made plans with him. Fortunately, he agreed. I didn’t mean to make a ruckus, but I guess I wanted Jaemin to realize how much of an asshole you are.”

“And you aren’t?” Jeno countered.

“I guess I am, too,” Jongho muttered, finally looking at Jeno face-to-face. “Let’s be honest though, you’re much more an asshole than I am.”

“Whatever,” Jeno uttered before he went outside of the comfort room. However, when he was about to turn on his heels, Jongho interrupted him again.

“I concede,” Jongho said. This time, there was no hint of arrogance, mockery, or anything of the sort in his voice. It was genuine judging by the tone of his voice. “You win. Please, take care of Jaemin. If you hurt him again, I’ll make sure that I’d be able to steal him away from you. So, don’t ever think of hurting him again.”

Turning around and looking for a hint of insincerity, Jeno found none. Not knowing what to do or say, he just nodded and said, “Sorry about what I did to you last Saturday. I just lost my cool. And I promise not to hurt Jaemin anymore, but I doubt that we’ll reach anything other than friends…”

“It’s alright,” Jongho replied. “And don’t doubt him. I know he still likes you. You can’t really blame him for having doubts himself anyway because of that thing you pulled. I haven’t forgiven you yet for humiliating Jaemin.”

“I know, I haven’t forgiven myself either. Don’t think I ever will,” Jeno responded solemnly, his eyes softening at the thought of Jaemin again.

“Jaemin’s right.” Jongho chuckled to himself. “You’re aren’t as bad as I thought you were. Just a little up on your high horse.”

“Now, you’re starting to get on my nerves again,” Jeno exclaimed in irritation. “Well, farewell, my rival. You won’t be missed.”

Jeno proceeded on his way to the main library, skipping a couple of steps on the stairs as he hummed to himself. A few underclassmen he passed by greeted him, much to his surprise. He gave them a tight-lipped smile, causing for the girls in the group to squeal whereas the guy remained adamant.

When he reached the library, he immediately spotted Sunwoo and Woojin sitting at a table, fully engaged with whatever they were doing. On their table was full of scattered books all over, mainly textbooks and reviewers for the upcoming Suneung. Not too far away, there was a familiar light brown-haired boy sitting at the corner.

Jaemin and Jeno’s usual table.

With his elbow resting on the table and chin propped on his palm, Jaemin gazed outside the window, staring at nothing in particular. He was playing the pen he was holding on the other hand, constantly tapping it as if he was waiting for someone. Jaemin looked like in deep thought yet serene, like he couldn’t be bothered by anything in the world, unlike Jeno who could lose his sanity because of overthinking.

A step—a single step before Jeno changed his mind from taking the seat beside Jaemin to sitting across his friends. When Sunwoo and Woojin felt his presence, they looked at him as he’d grown three heads.

“What are you doing here?” Woojin questioned suspiciously, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“Sitting?”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Woojin countered back in sarcasm. “Seriously though, dude, did something happen between you and Jaemin?”

“No,” came a plain response from Jeno.

“Something definitely happened,” Sunwoo intervened. “I’ve had suspicion since yesterday. You were awfully quiet.”

“Have I not always been quiet?” Jeno argued.

“You have,” Sunwoo agreed, “but, I don’t know, there’s just something I about you I can’t pinpoint. Maybe it’s because you became, I don’t know, happier?”

Jeno remained silent.

“And then, suddenly, you’re back to being the way you are?” It came out of Sunwoo as a question more than a statement. “It’s just subtle changes. I guess we were just close to you that we’re able to tell the difference the Jeno before and the Jeno now.”

“He’s been waiting for you, you know?” Woojin interjected. “He’s been here before Sunwoo and I even came in.”

“We don’t know that,” Jeno muttered, thinking that Jaemin might be waiting for someone else was a possibility, considering the latter didn’t reply to his last message.

What he intended was a simple glance in Jaemin’s way turned into something else when he found that Jaemin was already staring at him with that familiar expression of disappointment. The stare wasn’t a stare in wonder but more of a stare of longing. Jeno, in spite of their distance from one another, saw the glistening eyes of Jaemin who looked down in defeat.

Jeno felt a heartburn, almost as if they were linked together. It seemed like he felt what Jaemin felt deep in his heart. In haste, Jeno abruptly rose from his seat, skipping a couple of steps before taking the empty seat beside Jaemin who was looking down, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Hey...” he uttered shortly after he occupied the seat.

“Hey...” Jaemin responded in barely a whisper, almost inaudible. Carefully, he took his reviewer and his notebook from his bag, Jeno mimicking the gesture.

“Sh-Shall we start?” The nervousness in Jeno’s voice was evident, but it was overlooked by Jaemin’s own nervousness.

“S-Sure...” Jaemin answered. “B-By the way, do you… Do you still wanna watch that movie…?”

With guilt and hesitance, Jeno said, “I don’t know, Jaemin. Let’s get this over with first, alright?

Jaemin’s breath visibly hitched. Jeno saw it, too, but chose to ignore it anyway. With a forced smile, Jaemin nodded at him, trying his best to not let the tears that were threatening to fall stream freely down his face.

-

The two of them, Jeno and Jaemin, ended up focusing solely on the tutorial session more than they had from the past weeks. They weren’t able to catch the movie they wanted to see that day, which made Jaemin beyond low-spirited. He just looked down in disappointment, his eyes not leaving the table, afraid of his gaze crossing Jeno’s because he probably would’ve cried right there, right then. In the end, Jeno left their table wordlessly, leaving Jaemin with a heavy heart.

What Jaemin didn’t know was Jeno received an emergency text from Mark, telling the latter that there was a lead found concerning Taeyong’s whereabouts. Jeno had no time to explain himself and just left after bidding his goodbye.

For a solid minute, Jaemin just stared at the table, his head slightly angled down, fist tightly clenched on his lap, and attempting not to let out the sob he’d been holding back. His eyes, however, failed him when the tears he wanted to keep from falling decided to glide down his cheeks in large droplets that didn’t go unnoticed.

Gradually, as if taking his time, Jaemin gathered all his belongings before taking large steps and exiting the library.

On the other hand, Jeno was sprinting down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps in able to exit the school premises and hop on to the nearest cab he could find. By the time he arrived home, he paid the cab fair and rushed inside the house, spotting Mark, Jaehyun, and Krystal.

“Dad…?” Jeno asked in confusion, seeing two suitcases in the living room. “Hyung told me that you found a lead of Papa’s whereabouts.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun said with a bright smile, “one of my friends back in college is on a vacation in Nami Island, and he said he saw your papa there today.”

“Actually,” Krystal started, “your dad’s college friend saw your papa yesterday, too, but he didn’t know that we’re looking for him. He even talked to him and asked how Taeyong and his family were.”

“Really?” Jeno asked, his hopes skyrocketing in an instant. “What did Papa tell him?”

“He said your papa told him that you guys are growing up to be wonderful young men, and that Taeyong is proud of you. He didn’t mention anything about your dad, though.”

Jeno’s eyes shifted from his aunt to his dad who had a disappointed look on his face. Not wanting his son to notice it, however, Jaehyun faked a smile and tried to look jolly in front of his kids and his older sister.

“Don’t worry,” he said after a short while, “I’ll make sure to find your papa. I have booked the earliest flight to Nami Island, and it will be at five in the morning. I will leave everything to you guys for now, okay?”

“But dad,” Jeno argued, “can’t we come as well?”

“No,” Jaehyun said, sighing, “Suneung is near, and I want you on that. Mark, focus on your studies as well, alright?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“But dad—”

“Jeno,” Krystal cut off, “just focus on your studies. Let your dad handle these things.”

“Noona, I’ll leave the kids in your hands. I don’t know when I’ll come back,” Jaehyun said, zipping the zipper of his suitcase. “I’m going to rest now, so that I’ll be able to catch my flight.”

“Don’t worry about the kids. I’ll take care of them,” Krystal responded, giving his brother a tight-lipped smile. “Focus on finding Taeyong and getting him back. I really hope you get the chance to start anew with him.”

“Thank you, Noona…”

Once the conversation was over, Jeno saw his father walked to his parents’ bedroom, while his aunt Krystal went to the kitchen to make some tea. His older brother remained in the living room, playing some games on his phone. Only did Jeno realize that he left Jaemin in the library without giving the latter any explanation. Jaemin might’ve taken it the wrong way.

Getting out his phone, Jeno’s fingers immediately took the action of composing a message. Not knowing what to say, however, he ended up deleting the messages the moment he finished composing them.

 _Hey Jaemin, sorry if I went right after we finished the tutorial session,_ Jeno texted at last. He waited for a couple of minutes for Jaemin’s reply. To his dismay, though, he received none. Staring at the picture of Jaemin on his phone, Jeno bit his bottom lip, feeling guilty because of what he did and ending up on sleeping on the couch in the living room.

Several hours later, Jeno, together with his aunt Krystal and Mark-hyung, dropped off his dad at the airport, bidding his father goodbye and wishing him good luck. He truly wanted to tag along. The more people come looking for Taeyong, the higher the chances they would find him. His dad, however, was also right. Jeno should focus on Suneung. One of his entire future’s dependant is that exam.

He still hadn’t yet received any reply, and frankly, it made Jeno’s hope deteriorate. Maybe Jaemin was just really focused on Suneung? Afterall, it’d be in a couple of days. Maybe Jaemin was just trying to get rid of any distraction at the moment?

No matter how much Jeno tried to convince himself that maybe one of those reasons he formulated in his mind was true, he still couldn’t help but feel like shit. At the end of the day, he was the sole reason of why these things kept on happening between him and Jaemin. He couldn’t really blame anyone but himself.

The next day, Jeno came earlier than usual, waiting for Jaemin inside the library at their usual table. The place was starting to be packed. Students were flocking every corner, making the library crowded. It had already been an hour, and yet there was still no sign of Jaemin.

Who was Jeno kidding, really? Did he really expect Jaemin to show up after he literally left the latter with just literally a single text without a context the last time?

Chuckling bitterly to himself, Jeno gathered all the prepared reviewer on the table, stacking them inside his backpack one by one when a familiar light brown-haired boy sat across from him, breathing heavily as if he had just ran a marathon.

“Sorry,” the boy said, panting, “I’m late.”

“Yeah,” Jeno muttered in disappointment, “you are.”

Silence. Both of them were wrapped in silence, whereas the rest of the library was the loudest it had ever been.

“You didn’t reply to my text yesterday...” Jeno trailed off.

“I was kind of preoccupied,” Jaemin answered. “How about you?”

“Huh?”

“You kind of just left.”

“Oh…” Jeno said, finding the right words to say. “Sorry about that. My brother texted me stuff yesterday about our papa. I kinda got excited, so I wasn’t able to properly tell you why I had to leave...”

Jaemin nodded in silence, pulling a genuine half smile. “Really…?”

“Yeah.” Jeno smiled back, his heart fluttering at the pleasing sight right in front of him. “I’m really, really sorry if you took it the wrong way. Plus, we weren’t able to catch that movie.”

“It’s alright.” Jaemin waved his hand off, guilt visible on his face after realizing that all his conclusion yesterday were wrong. “I’m glad that you got another lead about your father’s whereabouts. I hope, this time, you find him.”

“Thank you, Jaem,” Jeno said directly at Jaemin, his eyes piercing through the latter’s heart.

_Jaem._

Melting at the nickname, Jaemin tried to hide his face by looking down, in which he actually succeeded, given that it went unnoticed to Jeno. On the other hand, Jeno looked down in embarrassment, unable to hold his gaze longer at the wonder sight in front of him.

Somehow, he was delighted that they were able to tone down the tension between them. He didn’t want them to go back to the start. Still, Jeno didn’t know where he stood in Jaemin’s life. But that wasn’t really his top priority right now. His main priority was to give Jaemin the help the latter needed. They could figure everything out after the exam.

-

During the remaining days before the exam day, Jaemin and Jeno strictly focused on the tutorial lessons, often not talking about anything aside from academics. They both tried to stick to tutor-tutee relationship, in which they actually succeeded in.

Jeno was having one of the hardest times of his life by not being able to be closer to Jaemin the way he initially wanted to in fear of being a distraction. But when he said he would wait for Jaemin, he meant it. And so, he was waiting for the right time.

Jaemin, however, stuck to their routine because he thought that Jeno no longer wanted to do anything with him and was just doing this entire thing due to Jeno’s _debt_ to him. It scared him that, maybe, after everything was done, he’d be tossed around again like a piece of dirt.

Both of them wanted to hold each other, kiss each other, and be intimate with each other, but every single thing seemed to hold them both back.

Fast forward to exam day, and Jeno found himself standing in front of the gates of the university where he was designated to take the exam. He was dropped off by his aunt Krystal and Mark-hyung, given that his father hadn’t gone back from Nami Island. He took a deep breath, fixing his messenger bag before fishing out his phone.

 _Good luck on your exam, Jaemin..._ Jeno typed in, his long, slender fingers shaking as he hit the send button.

The place was swarmed by students. Some of them were being dropped off by their families, while some of them were with their friends due to being designated in the same venue. Turning on his heel, Jeno was about to head inside when he saw the guards confiscating all the gadgets of students at the entrance. His gaze landed on his phone again, having an internal battle if he should really do _it._

 _I love you,_ Jeno sent, smiling hopefully at the message. Without waiting for a reply, he trudged his way inside, ready to take the exam that will dictate his fate.

-

The national college entrance exam took about more than nine hours, and by the time Jeno got out of the venue, he was physically and mentally drained due to exhaustion that all he wanted to do was lie on his bed and sleep. His gadgets were handed back to him, such as his smartwatch and his phone. Outside the gates, he saw Mark and Krystal waiting among the sea of crowd, waiting for him. It took him about a couple of minutes before he spotted his aunt and his brother due to a large number of people.

Jeno hopped inside the backseat as soon as they went to their parked car. His aunt Krystal took the driver’s seat, while his Mark-hyung rode shotgun.

“Any news from dad?” he asked to nobody in particular as he fished his phone out distractedly.

“None,” Krystal responded, putting on her seatbelt as Mark did the same thing, “all I know is his stay in Nami Island might prolong. I have no idea when he’s coming back.”

Nodding with crushed hopes of seeing his dad and papa again, his eyes immediately lit up when he saw a message notification from Jaemin less than fifteen minutes ago.

_Sorry I wasn’t able to reply to you!!! I surprisingly did well on the exam, I think. I hope you did, too!!! And please stop saying such bold words… My heart can’t take it!!!_

Smiling like a lovestruck fool, Jeno said, _I’m really glad the exam is over. I feel like all the burden I’ve been carrying were finally lifted off my shoulders. I just wanna go home and sleep, and then spend time with you_ **.**

_Yes, I feel the same._

_Soooo, let’s go out next Saturday? As a celebration?_

There was a ding, signaling for Jaemin’s reply. _Yes, let’s go out next Saturday._

-

With two boxes of popcorn and two large soda in his hands, Jeno patiently waited at one corner outside the movie theater. He wasn’t going to lie. He was looking forward to his and Jaemin’s _date_ that he arrived there half an hour earlier than the actual time of their meetup. Jaemin, however, had been a quarter of an hour late, and the movie that they were supposed to see was starting in fifteen minutes.

In a state of panic, Jeno looked for a seat and found one. He hastily placed there the food he was holding and texted Jaemin a bunch of times. To no avail, the latter remained unresponsive to his messages.

The movie had already started, and Jeno was still waiting outside the theater, hoping to catch a glimpse of that familiar shy smile playing on Jaemin’s lips. But as the movie ended, there was still no trace of Jaemin in sight. Jeno stared at the movie tickets intensely, his hopes getting crushed each second his gaze lingered on them.

Jeno could already feel his tears starting to form in his eyes, but he tried to fight it off by pulling a fake smile, thinking that Jaemin might have had some sort of emergency at home and needed to tend it. They could still watch it, since it was still showing for two more runs.

Hours pass by, and the swarm of people was no longer there. Jeno, with his leathery popcorn and ice-melted soda, waited until the last run of the last movie in the movie theater, and Jaemin did not show up.

Na Jaemin bailed out on him.

“Hey, kid. We’re closing now,” the guard had told him, snapping him out of his own reverie.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll take my leave now,” Jeno replied, bowing his head slightly before taking his leave.

Spotting a trashcan nearby, Jeno leisurely headed toward it, throwing the popcorn and the sodas inside before hailing a cab back home in a completely disheartened state.

It was too much.

-

The weather was bright the next Monday when Jeno woke up, a complete contrast to his heavy heart. He lifelessly did his morning routine, going to their living room in his uniform. There, seated on the couch, was his dad, crying silently like the world had collapsed on him.

“Dad?” he called out carefully. “You’re back.”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun answered almost instantly, wiping the tears on his eyes and cheeks, acting as if okay. “How was your exam?”

“It was okay,” Jeno replied nonchalantly. “How was your search?”

“I didn’t find him, Son,”Jaehyun said, his face contorting like he was about to cry again. “I couldn’t find him...”

Great. Jeno didn’t how his heart could possibly sink lower than it already had, but it did. He sighed defeatedly as he took steps toward his father. Comfortingly, Jeno wrapped his dad in an embrace he hadn’t before, cradling Jaehyun as if he was the kid and Jeno was the father.

“It’s okay, Dad,” Jeno whispered, “maybe it’s not the right time yet. I’m sure we will still find information about his whereabouts.”

Jaehyun did not respond. He just sobbed like a kid whose lollipop was stolen from him. It wasn’t until Mark woke up that Jeno was able to leave the house.

At school, everything was like the usual. Sunwoo and Woojin were talking about how well they did in national college entrance exam when Jeno arrived.

“I’m confident that my score will pass the needed score in my dream university,” Sunwoo boasted, smiling in triumph. “How about you, Jeno, how well do you think you did on the exam?”

“I did well, I think,” Jeno responded.

“You think?”

“Yeah,” Jeno nodded distractedly.

“Well, considering he’s very much inspired by Na Jaemin, I think he did, too,” Woojin remarked snidely. “Am I right, Lee Jeno?”

At the mention of Jaemin’s name, Jeno’s gaze hardened, almost as if trying not to think about him deliberately. Good thing that their teacher was on time, and he no longer had to reply to that particular question.

After school, Jeno, together with his friends and a few classmates, was one of the room cleaners, that was why he had to stay at school for a little longer. They mopped the floor, cleaned the windows and walls, and erased the board. As soon as they got out of the room, Jeno saw a familiar light brown hair, waiting patiently.

Jeno’s jaws clenched involuntarily, while his two friends were snickering behind his back, completely unaware of what was happening. When Jaemin turned their way, the latter immediately pulled of the smile that had always rendered Jeno weak.

“Jeno,” Jaemin called with a smile on his lips, “are you free today?”

“No,” came Jeno’s immediate response, “I’m busy. I’m going out with Sunwoo and Woojin.”

“Wait,” Sunwoo intervened in confusion, one of his eyebrows raised questioningly, “are we?”

“We are,” Jeno declared. He then walked past Jaemin, without giving him a single glance but muttering, “Sorry.”

Jeno avoided and ignored Jaemin at all cost after that. He was still hurt by what happened at the movie theater, and Jaemin acted like everything was fine. He wasn’t going to stop pursuing the Jaemin, but he needed his time to recover.

Yes, he’d hurt Jaemin before, but was that a valid reason for Jaemin to hurt him in every chance the latter gets?

Jeno is just a human.

However, despite all of that, Jeno would never give up on the love he had for Jaemin. In the grand scheme of things, he was in love with Na Jaemin, and that wouldn’t change anytime soon. He doubts it will ever change in the future, in the name of honesty. Sometimes, people just need time and space to get over some things.

“Hey, Jeno,” Lee Nagyung, Jeno’s classmate and partner for a project in physics class, called, sitting across from him.

Jeno was seated at a table in the student center, reading, when the girl showed up.

“What’s up?” Jeno asked, removing the earphones attached on his ears.

“Where’s Sunwoo?” the girl asked mischievously.

“He went home early,” Jeno stated indifferently.

“Oh.” Nagyung pouted. She then rose from where she was and moved to the seat next to Jeno, clinging onto his arm. “Jeno, please help me be with Sunwoo!”

Feeling uncomfortable, Jeno tried to remove the grasp on his arm. To his dismay, however, Nagyung wouldn’t let go unless he helps her. In the end, Jeno agreed to it just for the girl to actually let go. Her hold was starting to get harder, leaving red marks on his pale arm.

What Jeno didn’t know was that Jaemin was watching the whole scene, taking it wrongly.

Days flew, and Jeno noticed that Jaemin had stopped texting him, looking for him, and trying to get his attention. Jaemin’s smile was no longer vibrant, no longer genuine. In spite of him avoiding and ignoring Jaemin, he still kept an eye on him. He loves him, so Jeno couldn’t do anything but follow his heart.

Jaemin’s friends, Choi Jongho, Kim Chaewon, and Huang Renjun were around Jaemin during the start of lunch, rubbing the latter back as if trying to comfort him. Jeno wanted to walk up to Jaemin and ask him what was wrong, but he was too much of a coward to do so.

After school, the sky was surprisingly melancholic. It was a dark shade of blue instead of bright orange like the usual color of the horizon during sunset. Among the bunch of students at the school ground, Jaemin stood out from the rest like a rare, vibrant gem among the fake ones.

The boy looked sad like the sky. Jaemin was walking lifelessly, as if taking his time.

Jeno’s feet took over. He found himself following Jaemin on the way home, keeping a good distance to not be seen by the latter. Jaemin had his head hung low, and Jeno’s heart melted at the sight.

He realized how much of an asshole he had been in the past few days. If he just confronted Jaemin about his problem, then it would’ve saved them from all these drama. Had he just resolved the problem, he would’ve been able to have Jaemin in his arms right at this moment. A couple more minutes into walking, there was a loud ringing sound. Initially, Jeno thought it was his own phone, causing him to jump.

Jaemin answered the phone. _Hello?_

Not even three seconds later, Jeno saw Jaemin sprint for his life before hailing a cab. On instinct, he also hailed a cab and told the driver to follow the cab which Jaemin rode. Minutes later, they arrived at the familiar hospital. Jaemin was running, his legs taking large steps. Jeno followed him, trying to keep up at Jaemin’s pace.

They both found themselves outside the private room of Mr. Na minutes later, nurses flocking the private hospital room.

“Mom!” Jaemin yelled. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know!” Mrs. Na said, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. “He just started having seizures all of a sudden!”

This time, a sob came out of Jaemin’s mouth, breaking down and not believing what was happening. Not even a split second later, he was pulled into a tight embrace by someone whose scent was awfully familiar. Jaemin was rendered immobile by the contact. And when he realized it was Jeno, he just let himself be hugged in the arms of someone he loves.

After half an hour, Mr. Na was finally in a normal state. Jaemin was still in Jeno’s arms, no longer crying but had bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks due to excessive crying. Although Mrs. Na was confused of who the mysterious boy,who happened to be the same boy from before, holding his son, she didn’t question it and just told her son and his companion to go home because they have school tomorrow.

Jaemin insisted to stay, but Jeno dragged him out of the hospital.

“Let me go!” Jaemin shouted once he and Jeno were outside the hospital premises. “Get away from me! Just let me be! Leave me alone!”

“Jaemin, you’re not in the best state to be left alone,” Jeno argued, taking a step forward and extending his hand for Jaemin to take. “Come on, I’ll drop you off.”

“No!” Jaemin exclaimed, taking a step backward and swatting Jeno’s hand away. “Just leave! Go to your girlfriend!”

“Girlfriend?” Jeno asked incredulously. “Jaemin, what are you talking about?”

“What am I talking about?” Jaemin chuckled humorlessly to himself, trying not to cry and make Jeno feel the satisfaction of having his heart broken. “I guess it’s not enough for you to just humiliate me in front of the entire school, huh?”

“Jaemin, what are you saying?!” Jeno shouted. “Why are you bringing this up again?!”

“Because of you!” Jaemin shouted back, hitting Jeno’s chest with his index finger repeatedly. “It wasn’t enough for you to humiliate me! You also had to lead me on!”

“What?”

“Tell me, Lee Jeno!” Jaemin yelled, his voice cracking and his eyes betraying him, “Does it make you feel good about yourself?!”

“Jaemin, you’re emotionally unstable right now,” Jeno said, trying to convince Jaemin. “I don’t think it’s the right time for us to talk.”

“I hate you!” Jaemin shouted, stabbing Jeno straight in the heart like a dagger. “I hate you so much!”

Mustering all his strength, Jaemin tried to his Jeno’s chest repeatedly, sending Jeno a couple of steps back. It didn’t physically hurt, if Jeno were to be honest, but the emotional pain he was feeling was becoming too much for him to take in. Jaemin was sobbing uncontrollably, and Jeno didn’t know what to do. This was a first to him, after all.

Jeno swiftly snaked his arms around Jaemin’s waist, restricting the boy from any form of movement. There, Jeno just held Jaemin whose tears were gliding down his cheeks nonstop. For a solid minute, he held Jaemin, his world, his everything.

“I’m in love with you,” Jeno whispered, his voice cracking in mid-sentence. Everything became too unbearable to take in. “How could you ever think otherwise…?”

“Then, who’s the girl you were with at the student center?” Jaemin whispered back defeatedly.

“Lee Nagyung,” Jeno answered, “she’s always had a crush on Sunwoo, and he was clinging onto me to help her be with him.”

“Then, why have you been ignoring me these past few days?” Jaemin questioned, hiccuping due to nonstop sobbing. “Do you think it’s fun ignoring and avoiding me out of nowhere?”

Jeno remained silent.

“Do you think I don’t get hurt?” Jaemin asked, his head resting on Jeno’s shoulder. “You didn’t even tell me if I did something wrong…”

“Sorry, baby,” Jeno whispered, his deep, baritone voice soothing Jaemin and making him shiver, “I promise I won’t do it again...”

Jeno slowly pulled away from the hug, staring Jaemin, whose face was flushed because of the nickname, straight in the eyes.

“I was just mad because you didn’t show up to our date...”

“Date?” Jaemin asked in confusion. “What date?”

“Our movie date,” Jeno explained. “I waited for you for hours, and you didn’t show up. I got really upset because you bailed out on me. I wanted to take my time to recover from that, so I purposely avoided you. Sorry if I hurt you, baby, I promise to never do it again...”

“Wait,” Jaemin said, his voice hoarse, “I don’t understand. Didn’t our _date_ get cancelled because you ignored me for days?”

“What?” Jeno asked in confusion. “No. I thought you purposely did not show up because I left you that time in our tutorial session.”

“Jeno, I would never not show up in our date,” Jaemin explained, “you’re literally the man of my dreams...”

“Really?”

“Shut up!” Jaemin tried to hide his cheeks. “I was looking forward to that date. I really wanted to watch that movie with you. Why would I not show up?”

“Wait,” Jeno said, realizing something, “when I said next Saturday in text, you thought I meant the Saturday of the week after the exam?”

“Yes?” Jaemin replied. “Otherwise, you would’ve just said ‘on Saturday,’ right?”

“Oh my God,” Jeno exclaimed after realizing something, putting his hands on his head incredulously. “I meant the Saturday that week!”

“What?”

“I’m so stupid,” Jeno said, not believing his idiocy. He waited for nothing. He ignored and avoided Jaemin for a mistake he himself had done. How could he possibly be so great in academics but be an idiot in real life?

“I can’t believe you!” Jaemin tried to his chest repeatedly again. “You made me cry for nothing, you idiot! That explains why I was bombarded with messages from you about being _there._ ”

“Sorry, baby,” Jeno whispered, taking Jaemin once again in his arms. For a minute, they stood like that, not caring about the passersby looking at them at the public display of affection. In that moment, they only cared about what each other. Jeno inhaled deeply, missing the addicting, familiar vanilla scent of Jaemin.

“Jeno?” Jaemin called in a whisper after a while. “Please, don’t leave me again?”

Pulling away from the hug, Jeno, with his sparkling and determined eyes, gazed intensely at Jaemin’s.

“I promise. I would never leave you again. I will stand by you no matter what,” Jeno told Jaemin sincerely. “Can we also promise to each other that we will talk about our problems?”

“Yes.” Jaemin nodded wholeheartedly. “I promise that I would never let a day pass with us not talking about something that can potentially harm what we have. I promise to tell you everything.”

“And I also promise that if we fight, we’ll talk it out. I promise that I’ll be better, that we’ll be better after this,” Jeno uttered, meaning each and every word that was coming out of his lips. “Starting tonight, we will work things out because I’m in love with you. We will work things because I love you, and that is enough reason to make me stay.”

As if on cue, a breeze brushed across their cheeks, making Jaemin shiver. Jeno, with his arms snaked securely around Jaemin waist, pulled the latter closer. Like the fireworks on the fourth of July, the inside of Jaemin and Jeno’s stomachs exploded as the remaining space in between their faces finally shrunk, their lips colliding with so much love and passion.

“I’m in love with you, too...”

-

Ever since the night Jaemin admitted his feelings, Jeno never faltered on making Jaemin feel loved. He would always tell Jaemin those three little words that seemed to always play at the tip of his tongue, whether it’s three in the morning, in between class hours, during lunch, or when they’re together. It doesn’t matter. Jeno would say it out of nowhere which always leaves Jaemin breathless.

And Jeno’s actions reflect the words he says. As soon as the college scholastic ability test and everything between them was cleared, he started taking Jaemin out as much as he can, because he knows that once they enter university, they won’t have as much time in the future as they have now. 

They would often go on cute dates, and sometimes they would tag their friends along. So far, they’ve gone to Lotte World, cat cafe in Myeongdong, and Dongdaemun Design Plaza. At times, they would also go on cheap dates like shopping in underground shopping centers and eating street food in food districts.

Their communication, so far, has been better than ever before. Unlike the early stage of their relationship where they don’t know where they stood, they finally found a common ground. They still aren’t exclusive, but they’re slowly taking the time and making up for the lost one. They also learned to never let a day pass without talking about a specific problem in order to avoid conflict.

Both of them became each other’s emotional support. Jeno is always there when Jaemin feels sad about Mr. Na’s condition, and Jaemin is there for him when he feels the hole his father left in his heart. That only lasted for a short while for Jaemin because not even a week after his confession to Jeno, Mr. Na woke up from coma and is getting better albeit slowly.

In Jeno’s case, Taeyong still hasn’t been found, but he’s glad for having Jaemin by his side, especially now that he needs him more than anything. His dad had gone back from the search for Taeyong. Although Jaehyun became depressed for a short while when he failed to find his husband, he immediately got back on his feet and found a job. He figured that he would only be worthy if he gets his shit together, and that is what he’s doing.

Jeno never thought he could be this happy despite the absence of his papa. He never thought there’d be light at the end of the tunnel. He never knew Jaemin would serve as the fire that would provide him the light amidst the darkness looming over him. Jaemin was like an untouched shore—serene, undisturbed, calm, whereas Jeno was like a cataclysmic wave—destructive, catastrophic, and detrimental.

At times, Jeno would find himself staring at every inch of Jaemin’s being, perusing him like a masterpiece of the greatest artist in a museum. He looks at him as if Jaemin was a lone star in the sky. Or he was the sea and Jaemin was the moon, causing him to always gravitate toward the latter.

Maybe, in their past lives, Jaemin was the sun and Jeno was a sunflower, forever gazing at the sky during the daylight to admire the beauty in the heavens. Maybe Jeno was a hundred failures and maybe Jaemin was the hundred-first try.

Regardless of what and who they were, Jeno was contented just by being with Jaemin.

They started going to school together. Jeno began waking up a little earlier than his usual routine just fetch Jaemin from the latter’s house. He also started picking Jaemin up at the latter’s work. At some point, their respective circles had to share a single table during lunch because the two basically became inseparable.

In spite of always being together, Jeno longed for the physical contact. He ached for the scalding touch of Jaemin’s long, slim fingers burning his pale skin. On his lonely days, the intimate night he shared with Jaemin flashes before his eyes. He sees Jaemin with heavy-lidded eyes boring into his, panting, moaning for him to go deeper, to go harder like there was no tomorrow. And Jeno guiltily gets off at the thought of that.

There are times when Jeno longed for Jaemin’s touch so much that he would subtly move his pinky close to Jaemin’s as they walk home together under the cloudless night of Seoul with only the moon and street lights shining over their figures. He would constantly try to have some sort of physical contact with Jaemin, whether it’s putting his arm around him or having his arm touch him. Nevertheless, he still respects Jaemin’s personal space. He learned how to set up a certain boundary and stop himself when it becomes too much.

Sometimes, however, he acts before he thinks. Just like today.

“Sorry,” Jeno apologized, snatching his hand quickly away when he noticed Jaemin tensed up from the contact.

“I-It’s okay,” Jaemin replied, straightening his posture as he tried to hide his red cheeks. “It can’t be helped...sometimes.”

They were seated at a table not far from the arcade hub where their friends were hanging out. Jeno noticed that there was ketchup on Jaemin’s face from the cheeseburger was eating, and he intended to wipe it off with a napkin. When he was about to reach for it, Jaemin was, coincidentally, about to get a pile of napkin as well, resulting for Jeno’s hand to touch over Jaemin’s.

Yeah, they’ve kissed and slept together before, but what they have at the moment is different from what they used to have. This time, Jeno wants to make it right.

“So...” Jeno trailed off, trying to start a conversation in order to dispatch the awkward atmosphere looming over them, “exam result will come out in a week...”

“Yeah,” Jaemin replied briefly.

“You think you did good?”

“I think I did,” Jaemin said, wiping the corner of his mouth. “Probably not as good as you did, but I think I’m alright.”

“Hey,” Jeno started as he looked down, “don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s true.”

Silence.

“Jeno?” Jaemin called, his voice barely inaudible. “I’m afraid...”

That earned Jeno’s attention. His eyes landed on the figure before him. Jaemin eyes were full of worry as he bit his bottom lip. Jeno wished he could take it away.

“Don’t be.” Jeno took a deep breath, mustering up every ounce of courage in his body before taking Jaemin’s hand and squeezing it comfortingly. “I promised you that I’ll always be here, didn’t I?”

“I know,” Jaemin responded in guilt, “but what happens after graduation?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think we both know we’re not going to the same university, right?” Jaemin asked, which earned him a nod. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to some top-tier university, while I will go to some mid-tier one. We won’t have as much time as we have right now. What if, once we’re in university, we realize that we’re better off alone?”

“Jaemin, that would never happen, alright?” Jeno squeezed Jaemin’s hand even more comfortingly. “We’ll figure things out, okay?”

Jaemin didn’t say anything.

“For now, let’s enjoy the remaining time we have. Let’s live in the moment, okay?” Jeno asked, his voice soothing Jaemin’s mind and heart. The latter nodded, but what Jaemin didn’t know is it imprinted in Jeno’s mind.

-

“What did you get?”

Jeno was currently seated in front of his computer, scrolling through a list of examinees as his father and his brother stood behind him, searching for his name. It was the judgment, the most awaited and dreaded day of students who took the national college entrance exam and their parents. With sweaty palms, he scrolled and scrolled and scrolled until he saw his name and his student number on the screen. His heart quickened its pace.

“I got a ninety-eight point eighty percent in the exam,” Jeno said in a trance, not believing what he was saying. He knew he did good in the exam, but he wasn’t expecting his score to be as high as the one before him.

“That’s four-hundred and ninety-four points over five-hundred, Jeno,” Mark exclaimed, looking at Jeno in astonishment. “That’s a lot higher than my score when I took that exam.”

“Dad, Hyung,” he called as he stood and faced the other two in the room, still completely overwhelmed by the result. “I’m qualified to enter the top university in Korea…”

“That calls for a celebration!” Jaehyun declared with a huge smile on his face as he patted his youngest son’s back proudly. “Get dressed. We’re going out.”

Nodding with a smile, Jeno watched as his father and brother got out of his room to get dressed as well. He then fished out his phone from his pocket in excitement, looking for Jaemin’s contact.

 _Hey, baby. Have you seen your exam result? Let me know about it,_ Jeno typed in before tossing his phone on his bed and changing into something semi-formal. Halfway through putting on his shirt, the phone dinged, signalling for a text message.

_Hey, Jen. Yeah, I have seen my results. I did surprisingly well, thanks to you. How about you? And can we see each other today?_

_Sorry, baby… Dad, Mark-hyung, and I will go out to celebrate. Is there any problem? I can just cancel on them and have our family date rescheduled. By the way, congratulations to you as well. It’s not because of me. You did it. I also did well! I can’t wait to see you and tell you the good news about me._

_No, it’s okay, Jen. Enjoy your date with your dad and brother. Let’s just meet tomorrow, okay?_

_Okay, baby,_ Jeno typed in guilt. _Sorry again. Please, take care of yourself, okay? I love you!!!_

_I love you too, Jen, so much._

“Hey, Jeno,” Jaehyun called from the outside of Jeno’s room, “you ready?”

With a lovestruck smile on his face, Jeno shifted his gaze from his phone to his father who looked at him suspiciously in return.

“Yeah, Dad,” he said, his smile still not leaving his face.

“When will I meet them?” Jaehyun asked out of nowhere.

Confused, Jeno looked at his dad in wonder. “Huh?”

“The reason for that smile.”

“Dad, I-I don’t know what you’re saying,” Jeno uttered, playing it cool. “Let’s just get going.”

“Come on, you can tell your old man when you’re in love,” Jaehyun joked casually, giving his Jeno a cheeky smile.

Taken aback by his dad’s bold statement, Jeno asked, “H-How did you know?”

“Because I, too, smile like that just by the mere thought of your papa Taeyong.” Jaehyun smiled wistfully at his son.

With that, Jeno stared at his dad for a solid five seconds before breaking his gaze and looking at the floor. He knows he _is_ in love with Jaemin, but he couldn’t believe he was that obvious for his dad to actually notice. He’s thought of introducing Jaemin a million times, but with the disappearance of his other father and the need to focus on the college scholastic ability test then, Jeno wasn’t able to find the right time.

And with the upcoming graduation and the possible changes in his and Jaemin’s lifestyle, Jeno is afraid. The only time he’d ever been this afraid was when his papa left. He’s going to do whatever it takes for them to work out, but fate can be playful and cruel sometimes.

“I wish Papa was here with us,” Jeno said wistfully, looking at his father who had the same defeated expression as him. “”Dad, do you… Do you think he’ll attend my graduation?”

Sighing heavily, Jaehyun replied, “I don’t know, Son… I don’t know...”

-

The Jungs’ celebratory dinner went according to their plan. They got to talk about things they weren’t able to share with one another before, such as what really went down between Jaehyun and Taeyong, Mark’s current academic performance, and Jeno’s prosperous love life. It strengthened the father-and-son relationship they have at the moment, and Jeno couldn’t ask for more but for his papa Taeyong to come back.

Although the dinner almost made them close to tears, they still shared smiles and laughter throughout the evening and had one of the most amazing times in a while. And before Jeno slept, he congratulated his friends, as well as Jaemin’s friends, after finding out they all did exceptional in Suneung.

The day after that, Jeno found himself waiting for Jaemin at a Japanese restaurant in Dongbuichon-dong, tapping his fingers patiently on the table as he propped his chin on his other hand. He was a little early, mainly due to the excitement upon seeing Jaemin again, as if he hadn’t seen the latter in a long time.

The restaurant wasn’t crowded, and everyone spoke almost in a hushed tone, giving the place a rather calm and peaceful atmosphere. Due to the glass walls, Jeno could see the passersby and the pastel blue sky, which _intensified_ that calm feeling.

Several minutes into waiting for the love of his life, Jaemin finally arrived, giving him a warm smile as the former took the seat across from him. Jeno had already ordered for the two of them, considering how he’d already memorized Jaemin’s favorite Japanese food, or any type of food for that matter.

“Hey,” Jeno greeted, love reflected in his eyes as he stared lovingly at the boy before him, as if entranced by the beauty that Jaemin held.

“Hey,” Jaemin greeted back, almost in embarrassment.

“I’m really, really sorry about yesterday.”

“Jen, seriously, you don’t have to apologize about that, alright?” Jaemin cleared. “You also gotta give your family time, I get that. Honestly, I would do the same thing.”

Jeno nodded in understanding, giving Jaemin a genuine tight-lipped smile. “So, did you miss me that much that you had to beg me for a date?”

“Who’s begging you?” Jaemin asked mockingly as he broke the pair of chopsticks and took a piece of tempura before munching on it.

“Wow,” Jeno exclaimed in fake astonishment, crossing his arms while straightening his posture. “You’re getting really brave. Just months ago, you were chasing this handsome young man standing before you.”

“Ugh.” Jaemin rolled his eyes. “Don’t even remind me.”

“Hey!”

Laughing, Jaemin shoved a sliced piece of tonkatsu in his mouth. “You started it.”

“We’ve really come a long way, huh?” Jeno said, recalling all the memories inside at the back of his head with a tiny smile playing on his lips. He couldn’t believe he fell for someone who used to stalk him, someone he humiliated before.

Jeno couldn’t believe he fell for Jaemin who gave everything he had to someone like him, someone who was unsure of many things, someone indecisive. Jaemin saw the good in him in spite of all the despicable things deeds he had done. And for that, Jeno was thankful.

“We have,” Jaemin agreed, placing his pair of chopsticks at the top of his bowl, silence overtaking them. “Sometimes, I think it’s all nothing but a dream.”

“Well,” Jeno started, “it’s real. You’re stuck with me. There’s no going back now. I’ve fallen quite hard, you know?”

Jaemin chuckled to himself. “It’s hard to believe that you’re the same cold-hearted Lee Jeno I had a crush on?”

“That’s because you gave the warmth my heart desperately needed.”

Blushing, Jaemin retorted, “Could you please, for the love of God, stop saying such embarrassing things?”

“Hey, people don’t get to hear such sweet things from their crush often,” Jeno teased, taking a tempura and dipping it in tentsuyu sauce before placing it in his mouth. “You should be grateful.”

“Yes, Sir,” Jaemin responded mockingly, “I feel very grateful.”

“Hey, don’t call me sir in public. Reserve that in bed.”

“Lee Jeno!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Jeno took a pile of napkins, dabbing it on the corner of his lips. For a couple of minutes, nobody uttered a word. They just continued eating until there was no longer food on the table.

“So, what’s the good news were you talking about yesterday?”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” The excitement in Jeno’s voice was very evident, something that Jaemin rarely ever saw. From that sign, it only meant that what Jeno was about to announce was very important. “I’m qualified to go to SK National University!”

And Jaemin wished he could pull a genuine smile in that moment, that he could congratulate the love of his life for accomplishing such an outstanding achievement without feeling sad, but he couldn’t. So, he forced a smile amidst the threatening tears that could fall any second. 

“Jaemin?”

“Co-Congratulations, Jen,” came Jaemin’s small reply. “I’m really, really happy for you.”

“Thank you so much, baby,” Jeno said, putting his hand over Jaemin’s before giving it a light squeeze. “If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve flunked all the way down.”

“No, it’s all because of you. You worked hard for it,” Jaemin argued. “I’m going to Seoul University for the Arts, by the way.”

“Congratulations, baby,” Jeno said, his eyes shining in that proud moment. He then rose from his seat and took the one beside Jaemin, and when he was sure nobody was looking at them, Jeno gave Jaemin a sneaky kiss on the cheek, which made the latter blush in surprise. “I’m so proud of you.”

“W-Why would you do that?!”

“Why, am I not allowed to?”

“It’s not that.” Jaemin pouted, playing with his fingers. “We’re in public. What if someone sees us?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Jeno stated in fake realization. “You’re afraid of getting any attention because they might see me and think ‘wow, that’s a handsome man,’ because they might steal me away from you.”

“You wish!”

“Just kidding.” Jeno laughed cheekily, eyeing the boy seated beside him. “For real though, I’m utterly proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you, too,” Jaemin said without looking at Jeno, his eyes shimmering as if they were flickering city lights, “more than anything in this world.”

Jeno smiled. “Let’s get out of here, shall we?”

Under the cloudless sky, Jaemin and Jeno strolled aimlessly around Seoul, enjoying each other’s company in silence. Jaemin had been keeping to himself the whole time, and Jeno noticed that but the latter didn’t say anything. Several minutes into walking, they arrived at a park with kids playing and running around without a care in the world. They spotted a bench not too far, and Jaemin decided to sit. Jeno followed suit.

“Jeno…?”

“Hm?”

Jaemin, along with the burden in his mind, sighed heavily. “Aren’t you afraid?”

With that, Jeno looked at Jaemin worriedly. “Of what?”

“Of what could possibly happen after our graduation,” Jaemin muttered under his breath, fidgeting with his fingers anxiously. “We’re going to different universities. I know that the distance between SKNU and SUA is just half an hour drive by car, but I’m still worried, you know?”

“I can just go to SUA, then.”

“No!” Jaemin exclaimed. “That’s not what I mean. Are you crazy?”

“After everything you’ve done for me, I’m willing to give up anything for you,” Jeno declared truthfully, mustering all the courage in his body and intertwining his hand with Jaemin’s. He gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Jeno, I’m very thankful you feel that way for me.” Jaemin squeezed Jeno’s hand back, pursing his lips. “But I don’t want you to focus on me only. Don’t depend your happiness on me. You have a very bright future ahead of you, and I’m sure of that. So, please, always pick your dreams over anyone.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“That if you ever have to choose between me and your dreams, you have to let me go.”

“That’s bullshit!” Jeno’s eyes were full of anger, not directed at Jaemin but toward the latter’s statement. “I will always pick you over anything in this world. I don’t understand. Why are we even having this conversation?”

“I just...want you to do the right thing if ever there comes a time you have to choose one over the other...”

“I won’t let that happen, I will come up with something, anything,” Jeno declared, visibly upset by Jaemin’s input. He knew, however, that the latter had a point. He was just being hard-headed. “I’m not going to compromise you over my dreams, and I’m not going to compromise my dreams over you. We’ll figure things out.”

“I’m just saying—”

“Didn’t you depend your happiness on me before, as well?”

“And I learned from it,” Jaemin responded. This time, he was close to tears. He just wanted to go home in that moment. “I learned from it the hard way, and I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

Noticing the tears that were about to stream down Jaemin’s face, Jeno removed pulled Jaemin closer to him, resting the latter’s head on his shoulder as he caressed his face with his unoccupied hands.

“We’ll figure things out. I promise you that.”

-

No matter how many times Jeno comforted Jaemin, he, too, was afraid of the endless possibilities that could happen once they graduate school. And so, he had come up with a decision and told his dad, his brother, and Jaemin’s family about it without Jaemin knowing.

On the day of the graduation, Jeno was clad in a black graduation gown under his school uniform, wearing a light make-up. His father, Jaehyun, drove him to the commencement venue, together with his brother, Mark, and his aunt, Krystal. He was hoping that Taeyong would show up but the latter didn’t.

During the commencement, he was seated at the achievers’ area, and he could perfectly see the mesmerizing sight of Jaemin among the crowd. At one point, their eyes crossed, and they gave each other a reassuring smile. In his valedictory speech, he didn’t forget to thank his friends, his teachers, the entire student body, his family, and of course, none other than, Na Jaemin. He also used the platform so that the parents and the people from school would know the disappearance of his father.

Athe the end of the ceremony, Jeno went to his family and took pictures together. His eyes roamed the sea of crowd and spotted Jaemin a few feet away from them, taking pictures with Mr. and Mrs. Na.

“Dad, I want you to meet someone,” Jeno said in excitement. With a smile, he trudged his way toward where the Nas were and borrowed Jaemin from Mr. and Mrs. Na.

Jeno had talked to Mr. and Mrs. Na without Jaemin’s knowledge before, and he’d professed his love for their son. Mrs. Na had said that she had suspected it when Jeno was peeking inside Mr. Na’s room, she just had to confirm it.

Surprisingly, Mr. and Mrs. Na was okay with it, and when they found out that Jeno was the valedictorian of their batch and was going to the top university of the country, they almost talked about marriage which embarrassed Jaemin a lot.

Taking Jaemin by the hand, Jeno dragged Jaemin to where the Jungs were. As soon as they were standing in front of his family, Jaemin hid behind him, afraid of the seemingly intimidating looks of Jeno’s family.

“Dad, Aunt, Hyung, this is Na Jaemin,” Jeno introduced proudly, intertwining his and Jaemin’s hands.

With wobbling knees, Jaemin chose to have his eyes on the floor anxiously. He then bowed his head to Jeno’s family. “Hello, Mr. Jung, Miss Jung, and Mark-hyung.”

“Oh, so this is the boy you’ve been talking about nonstop, Jeno?” Jaehyun asked teasingly, giving his son a cheeky smile. “You’ve got taste He’s just as beautiful as your papa.”

“Of course, Dad, what do you take me for?” Jeno questioned in embarrassment, noticing Jaemin’s red cheeks and giving the latter’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Baby, this is my dad, Jung Jaehyun, my aunt, Krystal Jung, and my brother, Mark Lee. You’ve met Hyung before, right?”

“Jaemin, right?” came Jaehyun’s reply. With dimpled cheeks, he reached for Jaemin’s other hand and shook it. “Don’t be so nervous. You guys have our blessings.”

Slowly, Jaemin looked up and met the Jungs’ gaze. Krystal gave him a small smile, whereas Mark saluted him. The Jungs then congratulated him and Jeno for finishing high school. After a couple minutes Jeno talking to his family, the Jungs then made their way to where Mr. and Mrs. Na were, but Jeno stayed by him.

“Is it just me or they really look so intimidating?” Jaemin heaved a deep sigh as soon as the Jungs were out of his sight. “They really are your family.”

Chuckling, Jeno replied, “It actually runs in the family.”

“How about your papa?”

“He does look intimidating, too, but he’s actually a sweetheart,” Jeno recalled, looking at the parents with their children. “He’s always on a medical mission to help people out. He always sees the good in people, and he trusts them so much...so much that he didn’t think people are capable of betraying him...”

“Does it have anything to do with your dad?”

Wordlessly, Jeno nodded.

“Are you mad at him?”

“I used to be,” Jeno said, glancing at the boy beside him, “but I’ve learned not to dwell on such feeling.”

“Have I ever told you I’m proud of you for getting better on handling your emotion?”

“You haven’t.”

“Then, I’m saying it now. I’m really proud of you, Jen,” Jaemin said wholeheartedly.

In an instant, Jeno felt a soft and warm pair of lips on his right cheek. He stood there frozen in his tracks, unable to make a single move. He had his mouth open in surprise, gawking at the blushing Jaemin right before him. It wasn’t like the first they kissed. It was even less intimate compared to the ones they had before. However, it was the first time Jaemin kissed him with so many people around them. Not to mention, their families probably saw the whole thing.

“Lee Jeno for three!” someone yelled from a distance. Jeno, along with Jaemin, turned his head to the source of the voice. There, they saw Sunwoo and Kim Chaewon making kissy faces in mockery. Choi Jongho was giving them a playful thumbs down, whereas Huang Renjun was smiling proudly at them. Woojin was also there, but he was more fixated at the smiling Chinese boy rather than at him and Jaemin.

“Jeno,” Jaemin softly called, earning his attention. “I have a gift for you.”

Breaking their intertwined hands, Jaemin fished out something in his pocket. It took Jeno’s breath away.

“What’s this?” Jeno asked, dumbfounded. “Don’t tell me...”

“No, silly.” Jaemin laughed, accentuating the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. “But it’s close to that.”

In Jaemin’s hand sat a cheap, black velvet box. The latter then opened it, revealing a thin, silver band. Jaemin reached for Jeno’s right hand, and then slowly, he took it in between his fingers and slid it on Jeno’s long, slim ring finger.

“Does this mean…?” Jeno trailed off, completely taken aback.

“Yes, we’re a couple now.”

In a split second, Jeno engulfed Jaemin in a tight, bear hug, almost squeezing Jaemin to death. He no longer cared if his family, the Nas, or anyone were witnessing their intimate moment. All he cared about in that moment was Jaemin.

As soon as he let go of the love of his life, Jaemin pocketed out another velvet box. This time, though, it was a white one with a similar band inside it. Jeno took it from the box and inserted it on Jaemin’s long, smooth ring finger.

Of course, Lee Jeno did not come to war unarmed. He took something out underneath the graduation gown, placing it on Jaemin’s palm before closing the latter’s hand.

“I asked my and your parents’ blessing for this,” Jeno stated, his heart pounding on his chest. “It’s now completely up to you if we’re in this together.”

Confused, Jaemin opened his hand, revealing a tiny metal. “W-What’s this…?”

“What does it look like?”

“A key...”

“I told you I’m going to figure things out, right?” Jeno asked sincerely. “To tell you the truth, I was afraid, too. And when you started saying those things after our date at a Japanese restaurant that day, I was even more afraid. So, I tried to think of a way for us to be together without compromising anything. This is what I came up with. The key on your hand is the key to _our_ apartment.”

“W-What?”

“The apartment is located fifteen minutes away from SKNU and SUA. That way, we can come home to each other.”

“I love you so much, Jen,” Jaemin said before a sob finally escaped his lips, hugging Jeno around the neck. “Thank you, _baby_. I love you so much. You have no idea.”

With a genuine smile etched on his face, Jeno slowly wrapped his arms around Jaemin’s waist, pulling the latter close before saying, “I love you, too, baby, so much.”

-

Shortly after their high school graduation, Jeno was able to spend more time with Jaemin without worrying anything about academics. They spent the time efficiently going around Seoul and hanging out with their friends whom they probably won’t see in a long while once their university life starts.

And since the break was only two weeks, Jeno made the most of it. Aside from being with Jaemin twenty-four seven, he spent just as much time with his family. In the end, he would probably see them once in a blue moon. He is still hurt that his papa didn’t make it to his graduation, but he knows Taeyong has his reasons.

To say that Jeno was excited about moving in together with Jaemin and living with him is an understatement. He was so giddy and excited that the day after the commencement ceremony, Jeno had already things he should pack. And by the following day, everything was already prepared.

On the day of his moving in, Jeno was dropped by his dad and his aunt, whereas Jaemin was dropped off by Mrs. Na. Throughout his journey to his new place, Jeno was bugged by Krystal to always turn off appliances when they aren’t using it, do a general cleaning at least once a week, and study hard. 

“Son, always remember what we told you, alright?” Jaehyun reminded Jeno as he took the latter’s suitcases from the trunk. “Study hard, stay healthy, and don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

Jeno nodded reassuringly. “Yes, Dad.”

“Jaemin seems like a good person, keep him.” Jaehyun squeezed his son’s shoulder lightly, giving Jeno the blessing. “But don’t take your studies for granted. You’re not here to only have a good time.”

“Yes, Dad. I know that,” Jeno repeated.

When it was time for his dad and aunt to leave, Jeno bid his goodbye, dragging his suitcases to the apartment. Jaemin was already inside, sitting on a couch in the living room. Compared to their respective houses, the apartment was fairly small. Good for two persons. There were two bedrooms, a large and a small one; two bathrooms, which one of them attached to the large bedroom, a small kitchen, and a living room.

Jaemin wanted to give the larger bedroom to Jeno, knowing the latter was probably not accustomed to such cramped areas, given Jeno’s way of living. Besides, the apartment was a gift from Mr. Jung, so it was only fair for Jeno to get the larger room. And since Jeno is stubborn, he insisted on having the smaller one.

In the end, Jeno got the smaller bedroom, although what he really wanted, deep down, was for them to share a single bedroom. But then, he didn’t really want to push Jaemin over. He wanted Jaemin to take the time to figure things out first before they make a huge step. Knowing that he gets heated every time he’s close to Jaemin, Jeno decided that it would be the best if they don’t share a bed.

The sun gradually set, and the two of them settled in their respective bedroom. Jeno couldn’t sleep, and he was feeling sexually frustrated for some reason. He took a cold shower to ease his growing problem. To his dismay, however, it didn’t work.

Three knocks—there were three knocks on his bedroom door, and he already knew that it was Jaemin. When he told his lover to come in, Jaemin had his hair down, wearing a cute pair of pastel blue pajamas, carrying a white pillow.

“Jen...”

“Yeah…?” Jeno asked, feeling his heart race.

“C-Can I sleep with you tonight…?”

“Y-Yeah, sure,” Jeno stuttered, moving over to give Jaemin space. As soon as the latter saw him wearing nothing but a pair of boxers underneath the comforter, Jaemin blushed as if it was the latter’s first time seeing him in that state. Fortunately for Jaemin, it was too dark for him to notice.

Jaemin involuntarily gulped when he saw Jeno’s broad chest and huge biceps, feeling himself grow underneath the thin fabric of his pajamas. Before it could even escalate to something more, he hastily said good night to Jeno and faced the other and closed his eyes.

Both of them were feeling tension. Initially, Jeno only wanted to embrace Jaemin, so he faced the latter’s back. Like the coward that he is, however, he retreated his arm and ended up watching Jaemin from behind.

By that time, Jaemin was already burning in heat. He desperately wanted to feel something, so he scooted closer to where Jeno was without facing him. Now the proximity was bringing more tension. And Jaemin decided to scoot closer...and then closer until the fabric of his pajama pants was touching Jeno’s boxers.

Feeling a newfound courage, Jaemin wiggled his ass a bit, wanting to feel Jeno. There was a strong friction, and he wiggled his bottom more. Slowly but surely, he felt Jeno’s cock hardening, poking his ass through the fabric. He could feel the heat because he was only wearing the pajama shirt and pants with nothing underneath.

“Aaah,” Jaemin bravely moaned, pressing his ass harder to Jeno’s clothed cock. “Fuck, i-it’s so big...”

By that time, Jeno was already rock hard. He could no longer restrain himself, given that he had been trying to stop himself for the past month. He couldn’t resist the temptation when it was Jaemin who was serving himself to him. With ragged breathing, Jeno pulled Jaemin closer by the waist before biting the latter harshly on his neck.

“Fuck, do you know how much I’ve been holding back?” Jeno purred sensually into Jaemin’s ear, before giving the latter’s earlobe a lick . “I think you have an idea now.”

Crying out in both pain and pleasure, Jaemin grinded his ass harder, growing a tent of his own underneath his pajama pants. He could feel Jeno’s entirety. It was thick, hard, and long, and Jaemin was basically drooling to have a taste of it.

“Jen...” Jaemin called in a high pitched voice.

“Baby, what do you want?” Jeno asked, feeling more excited at the sound Jaemin was making. “Tell me what you want...”

However, Jaemin didn’t answer. Instead, he turned around and faced Jeno who had heavy-lidded eyes, completely aroused because of him. Without having second thoughts, he crashed his lips against Jeno. As much as it was driven by hunger and sexual frustration, the kiss was passionate and burning. Jaemin kissed the life out of Jeno, biting his lower lip and sliding his tongue inside his mouth.

Jeno was completely taken by surprise, not knowing that Jaemin had this side. When he regained his composure, he fought for dominance and eventually won, sliding his tongue inside Jaemin’s mouth and exploring every inch of it. They kissed sloppily, saliva dripping down their chins. Nobody cared.

In an instant, Jaemin climbed on top of Jeno, straddling the latter as he removed his shirt and pants. This time, he was already sitting on Jeno’s lap in all his glory. The tip of his cock was leaking with precum and poking Jeno’s stomach. He spread his ass, alining it to the latter’s clothed cock, humping the life out of Jeno as he kissed him deeper than he’d ever done.

“Jen—”

“Hyung,” Jeno said, “call me hyung.”

“H-Hyung, aaah,” Jaemin whimpered under his breath, “m-more, please.”

At that statement, Jeno started kissing Jaemin’s neck. And then began to suck...hard. He sucked hard on Jaemin’s neck that bruises started forming. He nibbled on and bit Jaemin’s neck harshly that they formed love bites that would definitely be noticeable. None of them cared, however. Jeno trailed his kisses down to Jaemin’s chest, doing the same thing to his neck.

By the time Jeno reached Jaemin’s erected, pink nipples, Jaemin was already going insane that the latter had to pull on Jeno’s hair, causing Jeno to suck even harder. Jeno felt pleasure and pain at that.

“H-Hyung!” Jaemin screamed. “Fuck!”

Out of nowhere, Jaemin pushed Jeno onto the bed, leveling his head to the latter’s boxers as he stared at him sensually. Jaemin licked the obvious tent, and Jeno felt a shiver ran down his spine. Teasingly, Jaemin began taking Jeno’s clothed cock in his mouth, wetting the white boxers Jeno was wearing.

“Baby...” Jeno trailed off, breathing heavily. He couldn’t help but thrust into Jaemin’s mouth because he was basically aching for Jaemin to suck his cock.

Leisurely, Jaemin unbuttoned the boxers, taking out Jeno’s thick, veiny cock and large, smooth balls before giving it a few tugs. The tip was red, shining and leaking with precum.

“Hyung,” Jaemin softly called, acting innocently, “do you want me to suck your cock?”

“Yes, baby,” Jeno said, nodding his head rapidly, “suck hyung’s cock.”

It came as a surprise to Jeno when Jaemin gave his cock a single lick, pushing him to the edge to thrust into the latter’s mouth, but Jaemin hastily retreated his mouth in a teasing manner, acting innocently in front of him.

“Jaemin, fuck, just suck my cock!” Jeno yelled in frustration.

Chuckling a bit, Jaemin slowly wrapped his lips around the tip, bobbing his head leisurely up and down while staring at Jeno in the eyes. Unable to hold back any longer, Jeno grabbed Jaemin by the head and started thrusting into the latter’s mouth. Jaemin, not expecting such thing, was completely taken aback, choking on Jeno’s cock as tears form in his eyes. Despite that, he actually loved it and found pleasure in it.

Jeno was moaning nonstop, loving the sensation of Jaemin’s hot mouth around his cock. The latter’s lips was luscious and slippery, making Jeno love the feeling of his cock slide past Jaemin’s lips. It lasted for a couple of minutes until Jeno flipped them over. Now, Jeno was on top, eyeing Jaemin dangerously. He locked Jaemin’s hands above the latter’s head.

Without a word, Jeno lifted both Jaemin’s legs, the latter’s ass pointing upward, giving Jeno a sight to behold. It was pink, hairless, and clenching, looking so sensitive. He looked at the petrified boy in front of him, giving him a smirk before delving his tongue onto the sensitive hole.

Jaemin screamed in pleasure, writhing. The tears on his eyes glided down his red cheeks, not because of pain but because the amount of pleasure he was feeling. It didn’t make it any better when Jeno started lapping on it like a hungry predator eating his prey. Jeno spit, nibbled, and sucked on it, until it was beet red.

Slowly, Jeno inserted his middle finger inside, preparing Jaemin from the incoming onslaught.

“You like that, baby?” Jeno asked teasingly, twirling his finger inside Jaemin’s hole.

“Yes, h-hyung,” Jaemin cried, “I-I love it...”

“I’m going to insert another finger, okay?” Jeno waited for a response. “Tell me if it hurts, and then I’ll stop.”

“No...”

“Huh…?”

“P-Please, fuck me now,” Jaemin demanded, writhing in pleasure. “I-I need your cock, hyung… Please, fuck me now!”

“But—”

“Please!”

With darkened eyes, Jeno gave Jaemin’s ass a light slap, which turned the latter on even more. He then spat on Jaemin’s hole and on his cock. Aligning his massive cock on Jaemin’s hole, Jaemin was already crying in pleasure even when it was just the tip that entered his body.

“Ow, fuck!” Jaemin screamed at the top of his lungs. “Your cock is so huge! It’s splitting me open!”

“Relax, baby,” Jeno said as he stayed still, so that Jaemin could adjust and relax. “Control your breathing for me, okay?”

“It’s easy for you to say that because you’re not on the receiving end!” Jaemin cried. “It wasn’t like this the first time we did it.”

“I told you, we should’ve prepared you more,” Jeno explained.

“No!” Jaemin argued, “I can do it, just give me more time to adjust. Fuck!”

Jeno stayed still, careful not to move and hurt Jaemin. When the latter had already adjusted, he moved slowly, entering more of himself into Jaemin. He then started sliding his cock in and out, feeling the heat and friction. By this time, both of them were already moaning and crying in pleasure.

“You like that, baby?” Jeno asked as he thrust in and out of Jaemin in a steady pace. “You want hyung’s cock inside you?”

“Yes!” Jaemin yelled, wrapping his arms around Jeno’s neck and engaging into a sensual kiss. Their tongues fought for dominance as Jeno fucked the light out of him.

“More, hyung,” Jaemin cried. “Please!”

Without responding, Jeno started pounding Jaemin’s asshole, slamming into the latter’s ass. And Jaemin felt like a deer seeing headlights of an oncoming car.

“Faster!” Jaemin cried. “Harder!”

Jeno slammed and slammed himself into Jaemin, their skin creating a melodious sound, echoing through the small room.

“Like that, Baby?” Jeno asked. “Aaah, you’re so tight. Your hole is swallowing my cock.”

“H-Hyung!” Jaemin exclaimed. He then flip them over. Now, he was back to straddling Jeno. He then grabbed Jeno’s cock and aligned it into his hole before sliding down.

“B-Baby!”

“H-Hyung!” Jaemin screamed in pleasure, bouncing on Jeno’s rock hard cock. “Am I doing well?”

“Yes, Baby—aaah! Fuck!”

Jaemin dove into Jeno’s neck, giving it sloppy kisses until he reached the latter’s broad chest and pink buds, licking them and nibbling them. They were both already soaked in sweat. Jaemin then licked Jeno’s biceps, smelling the addicting musk of Jeno’s through the latter’s armpits. He inhaled deeply the manly smell of Jeno, before giving the latter’s armpit a lick as he bounced up and down on Jeno’s cock.

By this time, they were both at the edge, Jaemin was already jacking his prick off whereas Jeno was thrusting into Jaemin, meeting him halfway, both screaming in pleasure.

“H-Hyung!” Jaemin cried. “I can’t hold it anymore!”

Jeno’s thrusts turned violent, signalling that he was near his limits.

“J-Jaemin!” Jeno screamed, aggressively pounding into Jaemin’s hole in a fast paced manner until he could no longer hold it.

“J-Jeno!”

A series of spurt came out of Jaemin’s cock, landing on Jeno’s shining abs. He literally fell on top of Jeno as soon he reached his orgasm, breathing heavily. Meanwhile, Jeno screamed as soon as he reached the edge, cumming inside of Jaemin’s ass. After that, Jeno didn’t pull out, feeling his own cum dripping down his cock.

“I didn’t know you could be such a freak in the sheets,” Jeno commented, laughing teasingly, cupping Jaemin’s ass cheeks. “I mean, you were so shy the first time we did it.”

“Shut up.”

Staring lovingly at Jaemin’s heavenly features, Jeno kissed his lips passionately, delving his tongue inside Jaemin’s mouth. “God, I love you so much, but I feel like you love my cock more.”

“Lee Jeno!”

“What?”

“You’re too much!”

“Says the one who probably has an armpit fetish.” Jeno laughed.

Jaemin stayed silent.

“For real though, I love you so much. I’m so glad that I was able to realize what my feelings were before it was too late,” Jeno narrated, staring at the ceiling as Jaemin lay on top of him.

“Me too,” Jaemin agreed. “I’m glad I gave it another shot. To be honest, I got so scared after that incident in the school grounds.”

“And I’m still sorry about it. I will never hurt you intentionally, baby. I want us to work.”

“I want us to work, too.”

“I love you, Jaem,” Jeno uttered under the dimmed lights. “I can’t believe I’ve got my world lying on top of me.”

Jaemin smiled. “I love you, too, Jeno. Thank you for giving me your entirety, your whole being.”

Both of them didn’t utter a word after that, as they were feeling each other’s heartbeat, calling each other’s names. The moon-shaped nightlight on the wall illuminated their figures, giving Jeno a view of Jaemin’s enchanting features.

The night was already deep and silent, and Jeno couldn’t help but recall the things that happened between him and Jaemin, like how they met, how they first interacted, their very first fight, and their very first kiss. Sometimes, he thinks it’s all a dream.

And if it is, indeed, a dream, it’s the kind of dream he never wanted to wake up from, because Lee Jeno had his world lying on top of him and Na Jaemin was his name.

**Author's Note:**

> This has a Jaeyong spin-off which I'm currently working on. Please, look forward to that as well. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! Kudos and comments are deeply appreciated.


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